Wednesday, February 6, 2013
What Would You Do?
This parenting thing is ever-rewarding but rarely easy...more like figure it out as you go, use common sense, give unconditional love, inspire wonder, pray and repeat, repeat, repeat.
Fudge came home today with an invitation for a birthday sleepover this weekend...for a kid we barely know and parents we've never yet. My girls reading this who know me well know exactly what went through my head when Fudge beamed at the invitation ("Not only no, but oh-hell-no!"). Of course I couldn't say that, so I was much more sedate with "let's take a look at what you have there." Fudge does sleepovers with a couple of best buddies and family- we don't have issues with separation, bed wetting, etc, so the experience for him has been positive so far. I fully recognize each kid develops differently and not all on the cusp of 8 are ready for a sleepover- totally respect that. But what about this sleepover party business?
I took the direct and rational approach: I'm sure so and so is a very nice boy and has nice parents, but we don't know them and we're not comfortable with a sleepover. Part of the party is being held at a local event site and I told Fudge we would take him and stay so he could participate there and wish his friend a happy birthday, but that's about all. His response shocked me..."ok Mama." No pleading his case, only one alternative suggestion ("you could call and introduce yourself and meet them"), but then Fudge said, "Yeah, I really only stay with like-a-family or best friends." I certainly don't think I'd handle it as well at almost 8 years old. As a parent I'm challenged with how to communicate that yes, we should be making new friends (and not being exclusive or "cliquish") and at the same time denying participation in another kid's party as visions of sleepover disasters and news clips run through my mind.
I'm confortable with my decision, discussed it with the hubs when he got home, and we're all on the same page. Poor hubs- I told him he was the lucky winner of calling the parents and letting them know how Fudge would like to participate in celebrating his friend.
Back to the title of the post- what would you do? Have you been in a similar situation? What was the outcome?