The Simple Life

Friday Night Leftovers

2012-02-10T11:24:00.003-05:00

How are we really into February already? The first six weeks of the year have been a blur and I need to get on the ball since Fudge has a birthday that is quickly approaching.

I went to my first formal crochet class last night, at the local fine arts center. It was an advanced class, but I was relieved to see I was keeping up.

The student in me lives on...last night's class reminded me that I could be in school full time and just love it...but I don't suppose that would pay the mortgage. :)

Fudge's class is listening to a teacher read Double Fudge by Judy Blume. Now he knows why I call him Fudge. We checked out Super Fudge and Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great from the library and I am so enjoying reading these "classics" with him.

Snow, dinner out, and a dueling piano bar are on the weekend plans- bring it on!

Visit Danifred to join in the FNL fun!

Barrett's Esophagus- We Like GOOD News

2012-02-09T18:58:00.000-05:00

The Hubs recently went in for Barrett's surgery #8...or is it #9? Really, we've both lost count. We actually had a really smooth day at the hospital- no waiting like usual and the nurse I think is fantastic was there watching out for us. Even traffic was good! It's like everything was smiling down us until the Hubs came out of surgery and we learned two unexpected growths were found and removed for pathology.

Well, the fantastic news came today- NED (no evidence of disease/cancer). That's always great news! We are so thankful. Additionally, the Hubs went from a diagnosis of high dysplasia down to no dysplasia (also a really good thing). The Barrett's is still present and there's still the diagnosis of carcinoma in situ, but this is some of the best Barrett's news we've heard to date. Thank you to all of you for your prayers and support.

The next step is the Hubs gets to let 5 whole months pass until his next surgery! That may not sound too exciting, but when you are on a 6-8 week rotation, 5 months is golden.

Homemade Febreze

2012-02-08T18:09:00.000-05:00

I won't use Febreze- I can't stand a heavy perfume and I don't like the thought of all of those nasty chemicals, so I've got a natural alternative. If you've not already read of my love of Vaska's Herbasoft, check the product out here.

To make the homemade fabric refreshener, a.k.a. "Febreze," I used the following with good results.

24 ounce spray bottle

1/8 cup fabric softener (pick your favorite or go natural with one like Vaska)

2 Tbsp. baking soda

Hot water

Mix fabric softener and baking soda in the bottle, fill to within an inch of the top with hot water. Shake well before using. Easy peasy, no more gross dog smell on my couch!

Homemade Fabric Softener

2012-02-07T17:45:00.000-05:00

I've never been accused of being frugal, but I think the Hubs is getting me there. I like having more money in my pocket than going out the door on things I don't have to purchase. We're pretty much chemical free around the home, which is why I like the Vaska natural fabric softener, but IT IS $10 A BOTTLE. I started using the old trick of white vinegar, buying it in large, generic jugs for about $3.

I fill the dispenser almost to the top with white vinegar and add a tablespoon of the Vaska Herbasoft. However, I've had great results with the vinegar and a few drops of essential oil (lavender), instead of the Vaska. Either way, I'm very pleased with the results and thrilled I am not spinning chemicals and liquid animal fat through my washed clothes.

We also use soap nuts, but I'll save that explanation for another time :)

Little Changes Make a Big Difference

2012-02-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

No, that's not my bed.

When you have so many projects on the list, and a money tree is not growing in the back yard, it can be tough to determine where to start. Where will you see the benefit of your efforts? We are saving most of our bedroom projects until the downstairs ones are completed, because really, who's coming over and spending time in our bedrooms? No one. However, a girl wants what she wants and this girl wanted a metal bed.

We have a king size mattress but we had yet to agree on a headboard and footboard that would compliment the rest of the matching bedroom furniture (we moved up from a queen that was part of a set). I didn't want to look for a matching king set, but rather something that was different but would still coordinate.

Ah-ha, how about a metal bed? Wrought iron maybe? I love a timeless look, and it was a great idea in theory, which fell apart when we started pricing these lovely beds. Since we were not spending thousands of dollars on a head and foot board, we gave Craigslist a try...and got lucky. Got the head and foot board you see above for $60, and lived to tell about it. Much like our last Craigslist experience, we were in luck. I really should upload a photo of our bed all set up, but frankly, I'm too lazy to go make the bed, get the photos, download, etc. right now. So you get the ugly bedding above, but the frame really is lovely. The bonus for us was while we were furniture shopping for Fudge's room, we came across the exact same head and foot board for...wait for it...over $800. WIN!

Small investment, big difference in giving us a lovely looking master bedroom.

Kids Bedroom Organization

2012-02-05T23:50:00.000-05:00

Day 5...maximizing on a small space! We love our neighborhood but sometimes we have the wish-we-would-have-kept-our-townhouse blues. It's not that we really want to live there now- our house and neighborhood are perfect for Fudge, but we miss having a more modern, open and airy floorplan. Our 32 year old home is warm in the winter, cool in the summer, and full of love and laughter, in an outstanding community. However, that cute little room with the dormer window that made a perfect nursery and toddler room is too small to be a bedroom for Fudge. So, we ditched the guest room about 3 years ago and moved him to the larger room. Our master bedroom and the bonus room are both large, but the other two bedrooms are small. Fudge's current room is about 10x10, but I'm not ready to let him move up to the 20x20 bonus room. He has a full-size bed crammed in his room, nursery dresser, nightstand, desk, and 9-cube bookshelf...it's a tight squeeze . and he needs to upgrade to more than a small, 3-drawer dresser. Ever since the kid turned 5, he's been begging for bunkbeds. Now, for those of you who know Fudge, this request conjurs images of a kid jumping from the top bunk to see how far he can fly, or if he could spin from a ceiling fan- you get the picture.

The request hasn't let up and has only worsened since he's turning 7 this month. Here's the deal- the Hubs is rightfully afraid Fudge is going to fall or fly from the top bunk and break something while I dread moving back to a twin bed...only to have him ask for larger furniture as he grows. We realized we have a very specific need- a mid-height, full size matress loft bed with coordinating furniture that will grow with Fudge and will fit this small space. I tell you what, I should have just waved a magic wand with that impossible request, but lo and behold, there is a company that can deliver on this request! You can nest the furniture underneath, or pull it out and make room for a fort underneath the bed- score! I like that as your child grows, you can even convert this to a high loft. Who knows, the kiddo could take this to college someday. I wish the price tag wasn't so steep, but when you break it down (the geek in me calls this cost-per-use ratio) it's a nominal spend if averaged annually.

After church tomorrow we're driving an hour to the one furniture dealer in our end of the state that carries this line to check it out, but don't tell Fudge...it's our little surprise. Oh, the brand is Maxtrix.

Homemade Laundry Detergent- Dry

2012-02-04T23:30:00.002-05:00

Day 4...never say never! I swore I'd NEVER, EVER make my own laundry detergent. I've heard of people cooking up their own and it sounded like too much damn work. I'm trying to catch up on mountains of laundry around here and I was going through the expensive stuff in no time. Enter a recipe for homemade:

- 1 box of Borax (4 pounds, 12 ounces)

- 1 box BAKING soda (4 pounds)

- 1 box of WASHING soda (3 pounds, 7 ounces)

- 3 bars of Fels-Naptha soap

- Oxy-type cleaner (about 3 to 3.5 pounds)

I used our kitchen trash can to mix all of the dry ingredients, then grated (or you can food process) the bars of soap and stirred those into the mix. The Hubs and I joked that Fudge, who helped me stir this up, would take this story to school and it would sound like we're running a meth lab. So for all of my teacher friends, yes, hard to believe but we really did make laundry detergent. Store in an air-tight container and you've got detergent to last you for months, for under $15...pennies per load!

I'm told you can use 1 TBSP per load, but I use 2 TBSP. This is also fine for HE machines- just don't put it in the dispenser- place it in the drum once you load the clothes. Let me know if you give it a try!

I Love You Because...Frame

2012-02-03T23:10:00.000-05:00

Day 3...you can do this one in a matter of minutes! I found this frame on clearance for $3- combine it with a piece of scrapbooking paper you like, letters/embellishments, and a Vis-A-Vis marker and you are all set to make something just your style.

This frame sits on our kitchen counter and serves as a quick way for the Hubs and I remind each other how thankful we are for the little things. This took less than 15 minutes to make! I used a Vis-A-Vis marker to write on the glass (shows better than dry erase) and it's easily wiped clean with a wet paper towel. This could also be a great, low-cost idea for Valentine's Day.

Weekly Schedule Frame

2012-02-02T22:37:00.001-05:00

Day 2...see, I can do this. The poor hubs, we are always on the run and I think he was having a hard time remembering Fudge's schedule, appointments, meetings, etc. Ta-da- the weekly schedule! I placed it near the front door so it's a visual reminder of what our week looks like or what's on tap for the day. This was a cheap and easy project!

The frame was purchased for $10 at Wal-Mart (blech) and the Vis-A-Vis pens were found in their office supply department. The paper, letters, and stickers used were from my scrapbooking supplies.

- Pick a frame set (brown or black)- yes, they come attached like that.

- Pick your papers.

- Pick your embellishments.

- Pop open the frames, cut to fit, insert, replace frame backs, and you are DONE!

- Go hang it on your wall and marvel at your masterpiece.

The hardest part? Selecting paper, letters, and embellishments you like. Mine does not match our decor, but it's whimsical, has bright colors, and I have a few owl stickers in there, so it's staying. If anything, it brightens the hallway.

The Vis-A-Vis markers are wet erase and wipe clean with a little water on a paper towel. I love that it is bolder than dry erase markers.O k, your turn...go get your week organized, and link back if you give this a try!

Homemade Granite Cleaner

2012-02-01T22:08:00.001-05:00

Ready? Let's do this! Since this is officially day one, I offer one of my old standbys- homemade granite cleaner. Yes, that is my counter sparkling above!

I'm all about saving some $ and getting our kitchen granite clean, disinfected, and streak-free. Since it's black, it really shows any streaks. It reminds me of when you'd spill liquid on your lab table in biology class and as much as you'd wipe and wipe, it just wasn't coming up, leaving streaks everywhere. The Method granite cleaner is $6 for a little bottle which is gone in about 2 weeks. I decided to experiment and here's a recipe I put together. I checked online and the alcohol is safe on granite, plus it disinfects.

- 1/2 c. rubbing alcohol
- 5-6 drops dish detergent
- 1/4 c. water
- 1/2 c. white vinegar
- A couple of drops of essential oil of your choice

Mix it up in a spray bottle and for pennies you have a great granite or countertop cleaner. I've also been using it as I clean out the fridge. It does have an alcohol smell to it, but it works great, so I can't complain.

Fabulous February Home Challenge

2012-02-01T22:00:00.001-05:00

After a quiet couple of months on the blog front, fair warning that I am back...for all 10 of my readers ;) Beyond the constant reason of "we're so busy," the holidays were insane (in a good way) and January kept us in a spin too. I'll admit it- the Christmas tree is still standing proudly in the living room and the Christmas cards were never mailed. Don't judge! This is a first for us too, but I have promised the tree will be down before the Super Bowl (Go Giants!) and the cards, well, who knows? At any rate, welcome February, the mulligan of 2012!

This is the time of year I go into post-holiday, we've GOT to get organized mode (and birthday planning for Fudge). And since one of my goals for 2012 is to have all holiday prep done by Thanksgiving (yes, I know, I'm laughing too), so we can peacefully enjoy the Advent season, I have extra motivation to get on the ball, the sooner the better.

Which brings me to my blog for February. To force myself out of the blogging slump, I'll post a daily project we tackle to get better organized and more streamlined around our chaotic (ok, messy), busy home. The hubs and I work full-time, we parent-full time, and frankly, it doesn't leave much time to worry about the house, so whatever I happen to post will be "do-able"- or will at least spark some ideas.

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-11-11T19:49:00.002-05:00

Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away...my house looks like something off of Hoarders...you do that math.

I learned to crochet last weekend- I am now addicted! Anyone else out there crochet? I couldn't get the hang of knitting and I didn't even care when Fudge used my knitting needles for something and destroyed them. Secretly, I was thrilled. But crochet? I get it and it is so therapeutic. Fudge wanted to snuggle and watch a movie together last night and once he dozed off, I made a scarf. Love it, wore it today.

Last weekend was epic- girls' weekend. Not only did I finish two scrapbooks, but more importantly, I was able to connect with old friends and make some fantastic new ones. For my girls that may be reading: STOP- Hammertime!

Fudge likes iPad apps and I have a bank account that I don't use much, but I do toss some discretionary dollars to for this, iTunes, etc. The account is down to $3 and I keep forgetting to put some funds in it. Fudge keeps asking if I've done it yet and today I just said, "no, but I get paid next Tuesday." Really, it's not a matter of getting paid, it's a matter of transfering funds. So Fudge goes on to ask me,"how much money do you make in your paycheck?" I replied, "I am not sure" which is truthful, since I could not tell you what I make to the dollar or penny. His response was classic Fudge: "well, I hope you make at least $10 for the work you do."

Fudge had two days off from school this week, so I took a vacation day and then I was off today for the holiday. By the end of today, he had me worn out, so I'm quite thankful he didn't have any commentary on the following two items that found their way into my cart at the market today: spiked eggnog and Bridesmaids (thank you Redbox). Let's hope he zonks out early tonight!

A year ago yesterday our little monkey fell out of a tree and broke the radius and ulna in his left arm. The child definitely had a guardian angel watching over him that time too. Here we are, a year later, and I got to watch him play classical music on the piano at Barnes and Noble last night, which made my little heart overflow with thanks.

Leave your comment love below and if you'd like to join in the FNL fun, head on over to Danifred's blog and join the party.

Thankful~ Day 9: Our Zoo

2011-11-09T11:42:00.008-05:00

Today I am thankful for all of our fur babies, past and present, that have enhanced our daily lives, loved us unconditionally, and provided security and protection of our home. Our current cast of characters includes two rescued dogs, a rescued cat, and a recent addition- Sir Washington the parakeet. How could you not love these sweet faces?

Our big boy of the group, Dax, is 9 1/2 and came to us through Virginia German Shepherd Rescue. He loves having a job to do, especially watching the house. He also loves to sing- just break out a harmonica, or do some singing yourself, and he will join you.

Marley just turned 4, as best we can estimate, and came to us as Fudge's "buddy" after our sweet girl Sammy passed. Fudge named her "Marely Pumpkinhead" but my mom and I both agree she should have been called "Stinkerbell." She has been a sweet, if not crazy, dog who loves to please and loves to snuggle under covers with you. She also has a high prey drive, so moles, voles, mice, etc. are not safe anywhere in our yard.

I still miss Sascha (lived until 12) and Mitzi (lived until 23) something awful, so I hate to think about my sweet boy above aging. Salem came to us as my birthday present in 1999, born at a local marina and in need of a home. My mom has his sister, and both have been wonderful, affectionate cats. These days, our boy likes to nap and snuggle, but he will get frisky and chase something every now and then.

Sir Washington joined us at the beginning of the school year. He seems sweet enough, but he is still terrified of us. Although, I take it as a good sign that he has started to sing during the day. Our hope is to have him tamed enough to perch on a finger and calmly enjoy time outside of his cage.

Thankful~ Day 8: The Right to Vote

2011-11-08T11:26:00.000-05:00

Today Fudge had a day off from school and one of our first activities of the day was to go vote. I've been taking Fudge to the polls with me for every election since he was born, but it was not until today that he has had some thoughtful questions around the entire process, such as why do we vote? When I explained what/who we are voting for and that voting is a right we exercise, he still wasn't really getting what the big deal was. When I told him women used to not be able to vote, he had an incredulous look on his face. He said, "Well that's just STUPID. Sorry Mom, I know I'm not suppoosed to say 'stupid' but that is 'stupid'- women are people, why couldn't they vote?" He didn't follow much more I had to say about the 19th Amendment, except that it was passed around the time his great-grandmother was born, which he thought was crazy, that women haven't always been allowed to vote. It really rocked his world when I explained the 15th Amendment, and I didn't even get into poll taxes and literacy tests. Fudge's response was "What's wrong with people- why wouldn't they let brown people vote?" I love how kids at this age view the world, not based on skin color, social status, salary, religion, etc. I hope Fudge holds onto this view- I wish more of us did so as adults. When I was recapping the conversation for the Hubs last night, he said, "wait 'til he learns blacks were only counted as 3/5s of a person." Not ready to expose him to even more ugliness of our history yet, but it's coming.

So today, I am thankful for the right to vote, even when it comes with a slew of annoying political ads and phone calls.

Thankful~ Day 7: Travel

2011-11-07T22:35:00.003-05:00

I have insatiable wanderlust, but in my defense, I did warn the hubs prior to marrying that I just cannot help it. He knew what he was getting into, and now he has a son with wanderlust as well. I am thankful to have had multiple opportunities to travel, especially considering I come from a family and marriage that is not military. Fudge's career aspirations include "being a guy who travels the world and takes pictures." For a kid that's only 6 years old, he's got a pretty good record already- 26 US cities across 17 states, plus international travel to Aruba. I'm up to 26 states and 17 countries, with hopes for many more to come. The travel budget waxes and wanes, but I am thankful we can still eek out a travel budget. There are still many places left on my wish list, but one I hope to see in the next couple of years is Morocco. Our church sponsors multiple North African mission visits and my goal is to participate in one sometime during the next three years of our "changing lives" campaign.

In the meantime, I am emptying the suitcase from a 4-day beach visit and re-packing for Hilton Head Island and Savannah, maybe Charleston too.

Thankful~ Day 6: Friends

2011-11-06T22:11:00.002-05:00

I am so thankful for my girls- you keep me grounded, sane, loved, supported, and more. We have shared times in sunshine and in shade and you have been there every step of the way. I remember reading somewhere years ago (email maybe?) that you may have many friends and acquaintances, but true girl friends, in it for the long haul, are few and far between and should be cherished as they get us through each phase in our lives.

I continue to be blessed with my girls from high school, college, and grad school, my girls after college and starting in the working world, and the girls that have come into my life once I became a Mama. Each of you is special to me and I couldn't imagine life having as much laughter and care without you in it, where I can be exactly who I am as I am. Thank God for true friends!

This past weekend I was beyond blessed to get away to the beach for a 4-day girls weekend, reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. What a fantastic time we had and how I look forward to continuing to nuture these relationships. May each of you reading this be blessed with such fantastic compadres! And I wish for Fudge the friendships such as these, that bask in the sunshine and can withstand the shade.

Thankful~ Day 5: Family

2011-11-05T22:05:00.001-04:00

Oh, I am so very thankful for my loving and crazy family! I grew up watching my parents always giving their best and sacrificing so my mom could stay home with us. My parents have always been there for me each step of the way, supporting me and cheering me on. It took me a long time to realize how fortunate I am and that not everyone grows up with such a terrific support network. My brother is still one of my closest friends and I am thankful he lives nearby again, instead of across the country. I am thankful to still have three of my grandparents, and that Fudge was able to know his great-grandmother before she passed this year. Finally, I am thankful to come from a very large, loud, loving, friendly family, full of cousins, aunts, and uncles...lots and lots of cousins. We know how to have a good time and Thanksgiving should be entertaining this year!

Thankful~ Day 4: Fudge, my miracle

2011-11-04T22:00:00.003-04:00

I am so overhwhelming thankful for our sweet boy, Fudge. He completes our family with the joy, wonder, and love he brings to our lives each and evey day. His mind never stops, always thinking and sharing such creative and innovative ideas, making the impossible possible. In addition to this, he has quite the sense of humor and he can make me laugh like no one else can. We waited so long for this miracle to arrive and he was worth every minute of it...I love my sweet boy and I am so thankful God entrusted him to us!

Thankful~ Day 3: My Husband

2011-11-03T10:41:00.005-04:00

As I count my blessings, the hubs is right there at the top of the list. I am so thankful for him and all that he does for our family. The hubs and I are very opposite in a complimentary type of way...he's calm, I can be totally insane. This picture is so indicative of him- we call the hubs the animal whisperer. I don't care where we go, if there is an animal within a mile, it will seek out the hubs and find him. Here we are in Aruba and a puppy found him. We were staying at a hotel one time that had a lovely, large bird in the lobby. When I would enter the lobby and talk to it and attempt to pet it, the bird would try to bite me! When the hubs would start to descend the stairs to the lobby the bird would go nuts- whistling, bobbing its head, getting all excited until the hubs would go over and pet it. We recently went to a butterfly farm and while one landed on me and one on Fudge, the hubs here was covered in them.

I could go on and on about all the ways my hubs rocks and what an amazing father he is to Connor, but I'll leave it at I am so thankful to have such an courageous and dedicated partner. Love him!

Thankful~ Day 2: Four Generations

2011-11-02T14:12:00.003-04:00

I love this photograph; it's the last one I have of these four generations together. What makes me terribly sad is that it is from Christmas 2009, almost two full years ago...and I think it was the last time we were all together. We had planned to all be back together this weekend, but it is not to be. Life, and death, are what happen in between us making plans and the reality playing out in front of us. Right now I should be calling my Gma to wish her a happy 90th birthday, should be packing for a trip to New Jersey, and should be celebrating one heck of a surprise party for her this weekend. Sadly, the "would-a, could-a, should-a" doesn't count for anything and the reality is that I cannot call, cannot write, cannot visit. We lost my grandmother just shy of her 90th birthday, in a fatal car accident.

So today, I am thankful to have had a grandmother who had so many in her life and took the time to make each and every one of us feel special, unique, celebrated, and treasured for who were are...no small task when you have 50+ grandchildren, not to mention nieces, nephews, etc. I am thankful to have had a grandmother that saw the humor in any situation and one who was fearless in overcoming what others might see as insurmountable odds: becoming a widow, being completely deaf, aging...none of these things stopped her. She still traveled around the country, lived independently, and continued with activities she enjoyed. And while almost 90 may seem like many, many years and a full life, to me, it seems like it still wasn't enough. She may be gone, but her legacy lives on.

Thankful~ Day 1: My Faith

2011-11-01T07:28:00.000-04:00

I've not participated in the "thankful for" series in the past, but I felt moved to do so this year. When I think of the first thing I am thankful for, it is my Creator, life, the ultimate sacrifice and grace, and my faith. Note that I did not state "organized religion," but faith. Yes, I worship in a church and yes I love my church, but faith is not religion. Faith is a relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. And He is, indeed, risen.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Friday Night Leftovers

2011-10-28T17:14:00.006-04:00

We're not really cold cereal eaters around here, except for some Kashi every now and then. The ONE big exception we make is Fudge can indulge in Fruit Loops when on vacation and I love Boo-Berry cereal at Halloween. And, guess who didn't look into getting any a month ago? That's right, me. Cannot find a box of it anywhere, but stores are overflowing with Christmas items. Seriously, can we enjoy one holiday at a time please?

I am hosting Thanksgiving this year, and while there is so much to be done to get the house in proper order (yikes), I am THRILLED to be hosting and that we also have family from out of town joining us. Seriously warms my heart!

I'm behind in my master plan of holiday prep (ba-wa-ha-ha), but I will catch up...right?

This is going to be one busy weekend, between everything to be done here and needing to get photos edited and printed for a crop next weekend. So excited- girls' weekend at the beach to catch up on some albums with some great women.

Anyone else out there hooked on the new show Revenge?

I was recently asked during a conference call what's the one kitchen item I could not live without. It was a tie for me, between the Pampered Chef garlic press and my Keurig.

I've previously stated that I may need to turn in my Yankee passport...cooking greens and buttermilk fried chicken and all that. (Note: I do, however, love my home state of New Jersey.) Today may have been the tipping point...I was at a very crowded store and of course, someone left his/her cart blocking an aisle...and no one was around to claim it. Seriously, not in sight! And you know, nothing stands between me and my K-cups, so I move the cart all of 2 feet so I could get to the coffee. This older woman comes flying around an endcap hollering "THAT'S MY CART!" (um, hello, chillax) with the most annoying New York/Long Island accent, while gabbing on her cell phone LOUDLY the whole time as well. After politely telling her I didn't want her cart, I wanted to get some coffee she repeated "WELL THAT'S MY CART." And you know by this point I wanted to say, "then move it out of the aisle b****" but I just smiled sweetly and said, "and it's all yours" and walked away. But I have to admit, as I was walking away, I couldn't help but think "why can't all of these annoying New Yorkers pick another place to retire? Damn annoying Yankees with their ignorant New York accents." And for my Massachussets friends, the letter R is, indeed, still a functioning member of the alphabet.

Please leave some comment love and visit the original FNL to see what dish Danifred is serving up and join in the FNL yourself.

Friday Night Leftovers- The Longest Week

2011-10-21T11:27:00.002-04:00

Hellllooooo Friday! Getcha some leftovers here...

-Whirlwind week was full of soccer games, school volunteering, teacher conference, homework, reading, library, a corn maze, the movie COURAGEOUS (awesome, awesome, awesome- go take your man to see this!), and Robert Amaya spoke at our church on Sunday. What a full week!

-Speaking of church, one of Fudge's best little friends is Jewish (dad is a rabbi). I am thankful that though we hold different beliefs and traditions, both families are open to sharing time together when it includes their respective faith. We were honored to be included in their oldest daughter's Bat Mitzvah celebration this year, Fudge has attended synagogue picnics and tonight, Fudge will join his friend in celebrating Simchat Torah at their synagogue. Frankly, he is looking forward to lots of candy. I'm also thankful that when his friend expressed an interest in joining us for church, the family was open to that and allows him to go with us. Most of all, I am thankful that the difference in faith is not even a blip on the radar for the boys...one shares what he is learning in Hebrew while the other talks about the 12 disciples, and they like that Moses is a common guy. What really gave me a laugh recently was the heated game of dreidel they had going on the other day- who knew? I think the boys know what I wish most adults would figure out: Fudge celebrating with a friend at synagogue doesn't make him any less "Christian" and his friend worshipping with us doens't make him any less "Jewish."

-Being the voracious reader that I am, I am hoping to raise a voracious reader. My mom recently bought Fudge The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, which we read in no time. Tomorrow, we are taking him to see a children's theater production of the story and we are looking forward to that. And we get to visit my alma mater, and a trip to Carl's- totally in love with my Saturday already...and still ordering what I did in college almost 20 years ago (yikes, we are getting old)- hot fudge sundae with strawberry ice cream. YUM!

-Who scored two pre-sale tickets to Cirque Holidaze? THIS GIRL! Balcony box seats for me and Fudge to kick of the holidays. Sad to say, theater tickets are so expensive that the hubs and I usually split who takes Fudge to see what. Hubs got to take him to The Lion King last year, so I get Cirque. Sssshhh- don't tell hubs the boys weekend away last year was really for me to have some peace and quiet to catch up on Christmas preparations.

-Girls weekend at the beach is coming up- looking forward to the down time.

-My 15+ year old washer is just about dead...any suggestions on a replacement?

-Our parakeet, we've had for a month, is still terrified of us. Suggestions?

Please leave your comment love below, then go visit the original queen of the leftovers, Danifred.

Bedtime Talk

2011-10-19T05:13:00.004-04:00

Halloween 2008

Age 3

I've found with Fudge that he asks the most profound questions of the day once it is over and he is snuggling into bed at night...maybe he is a "processor" like his Mama. The past few nights the questions have given me a giggle...

"Mom, why do rappers wear their drippy drawers so low that you can see their hiney cracks?" (No idea my child even knew what a "rapper" is, and he couldn't answer that question for me, except to tell me our neighbor thinks he can rap and "no, really, he can't.")

After reading a bedtime devotion on the creation of Adam and Eve: "Oh, I get it...when you see someone who doesn't have a full body part, like some people are missing an arm, it's still stuck in their rib, right? Can they just pull it out of their rib?"

And finally, last night's chuckle came from me reading Cinderella to Fudge at bedtime. When I got to the part of the Fairy Grandmother, I asked Fudge if he remembered what she says, to which he replied, "BOOGEDY, BOOGEDY, BOO!"

Friday Night Leftovers...The Grumpy Edition

2011-10-07T18:50:00.003-04:00

I am grumped up...as much as when I was on fertility drugs (explain that one to me). I need this grumpiness to go away, because frankly, it's pissing me off!

Fudge has not missed the bus since I charged him $5 to play taxi. Hmmm...maybe that worked?

Soccer, we live at the soccer field these days...three days a week. But I love wathcing Fudge running up and down the field and having a great time.

Did I mentioned we got a bird? I caved and let Fudge get a parakeet three weeks ago. It seems sweet, but I am afraid it's going to bite me. Oh, his name is Sir Washington.

The school situation is still a mess due to construction delays, so Fudge is one of six classrooms in the gym, or as our neighbor likes to call it: "refugee camp."

We are decorating for Halloween this weekend. Finally, because in my book, we are a week late.

I have Monday off while the hubs has to work and Fudge has school. So, as much as I "should" be doing something around here, I am giving myself the gift of peace, quiet, a good book, a soft blanket on the couch, and maybe even a nap. Go me!

Easy Peasy Discipline?

2011-09-24T00:16:00.006-04:00

If you're new around here, meet "Fudge." Yes, as in "Super Fudge" and yes, that is my kid, on vacation in Aruba of all places, totally rolling his eyes at me. He's 6, curious, precocious, active, and smart as a whip. What's a girl to do?

Well, this girl is tired...as in slap-worn-out-tired. I work full time, I am "Mama" full time, and in between, like most of you, I need to somehow squeeze in being wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, household CEO, planner of the menus, shopper of the groceries, laundry maven, swagger wagon driver, family vet, gardener, and the list goes on, and on, and on. What? I missed posting "maid" too? Have you seen my house? I cannot even claim that title these days. We're a few messes short of a guest spot on Hoarders here, people- keep up!

So what's a girl to do when she realizes she got "the curse that works"? Not heard that one before? It's when your mom/dad said to you sometime in adolescence, "when you are grown I hope you have a child just like YOU." And you, in all of your adolescent glory and total knowledge (because you were the resident expert on EVERYTHING) replied in the sassiest voice you could get away with, "GREAT, I'd love one JUST LIKE ME!". I don't know if I got just like me, or even more challenging, just like me with my brother's mischievous nature and NO FEAR approach to life added in. Are we seeing a correlation here between the month my child turned two and our kitchen renovation including a bar and huge wine rack? Coincidence? No, no...I don't think so.

Now that you know we keep the wine section of Trader Joe's in business despite the downturn in the economy and limited discretionary spending, you also need to know that I am tired of struggling for power. Really, I am over it. The bottom line is free will and choice- I may be able to coerce my child to behave in a desired way, but at the root of the issue, what I really desire is for him to have the freedom to choose to conduct himself in an acceptable manner. I promise, I'll post on the cool things we've been doing and how it's worked, but right now, am more interested in where we are headed.

So a friend I have never met (lovely story for another post) mentioned that she was reading a particular parenting book and it intrigued me. As in no-more-power-struggles-? intrigued me. That is when I finally gave in to Kindle (seriously $9.99 for the Kindle version or $16.99 for the real book, plus shipping costs, plus having to wait for it to be delivered?). Yeah, I broke my I-love-a-book-in-my-hand rule and downloaded the Kindle app. to the iPad 2 my brother generously gave me as a Christmas gift, when they came out this past April. I digress...Kindle, right...we're all on the same page now? Ha- pun discovered and semi-intended.

Instant gratification of the e-book and I read all 185 pages between Fudge getting off the bus yesterday afternoon and my head hitting the pillow last night. Quick, easy read and I KNEW I'd have an opportunity to put the theory to the test in no time. What theory? Well, the basic premise is this- our kids have choices. We help them recognize the best ones, but more importantly we EQUIP them to problem solve from a young age. No helicopter parenting! No struggling for control, and no being upset/impacted by a lousy choice. Focus of our speech is also on what we are going to do. And all of this rolls into nurturing a "heart connection" with our child.

For example, in the past I would have said, "Fudge, please clean up your toys in the front room. I need some office space back...blah, blah, blah." Fudge, of course, has no desire to clean up the mess, so he ignores it. I nag, he ignores, I get angry, he ignores, and somehow we have a battle of wills of cleaning up the office where I am now threatening, punishing, etc. The toys may finally get picked up, but with way too much drama and emotional energy expended. What did I really need to do? Focus on my actions and remain a calm, happy parent while offering choices.
Sound too good to be true? I thought it was, but what did I have to lose? I put it to the test. This evening I told Fudge, "I am getting ready to do some major cleaning in the office. Any toys I find after next Sunday will be packed up, sold, or given away- it's your choice what you leave in there and what you put away upstairs." Now, you can't say it with an attitude- it really needs to be in the tone of sweetness and love. Wow, suddenly I have a happy helper, interested in doing some major sorting and cleaning. No nagging, no threats, etc. And Fudge has a choice to clean up or to let me clean up and decide what happens with all of that stuff. Whatever he decides, it's his choice to make, and either way, I get a cleaner office. We have positive and negative consequences for each choice we make, every day, in our lives.

I tried a similar approach this morning...we are already getting into the being pokey in the morning, then missing the bus routine. I saw the signs of it this morning and I told Fudge with plenty of warning that, "If you miss the bus, you'll need to figure out how to get to school." Really, it was said so nicely. Fudge looked at me like I was smoking something. He remained pokey, and no surprise, missed the bus. I didn't say a word. In my mind, I approached it as "not my problem."
The rest went something like this:

Fudge: "I need to get to school."
Me: "MmmHmm"
Fudge: "I need to get there!"
Me: "So how are you going to do that?"
Fudge: "Well, I can't walk by myself. It's too far and not safe."
Me: "I agree."
Fudge: "Can you drive me please? I don't want to be tardy."
Me: "Hmm...want some help thinking through this?"
Fudge: "Yes, please."
Me: "Well, I suppose I could drive you, but that is like a taxi service, huh?"
Fudge: "Uh...yes..."
Me: "I guess you could hire me for ride."
Fudge: "Ok...how much?"
Me: "I get $5 for the first taxi ride, and I add $5 for each time the bus is missed taxi ride. So today, is $5. But if you miss the bus on Monday it's $10, time after that is $15, well, you know how to count by fives."
Fudge: "Ok, $5 then."
Me: "Super, I'll get my keys."

No screaming "Oh my gosh, you missed the bus AGAIN!" No yelling to hurry up and get teeth brushed, shoes tied, backpack on, etc. Nope- I was calm and cool as he dallied this morning. To be fair, I reminded Fudge that if he missed the bus, he'd need to figure out how to get to school. He decided to call my cards and see if I was bluffing. I was not- and that's another key, you have to follow through.

So, this afternoon when Fudge got home I greeted him as I always do- a big hug and kiss and "how was your day?" And this was followed by, "Now about that $5, I take cash or coin. Of course, if you don't have $5, I am sure we could find a toy to sell for the $5- it's your choice, however you want to come up with the money." Again, sweet tone and he looked at me like I was INSANE, but didn't say a word. Fudge disappeared upstairs and I heard the piggy bank rattling.

He returned downstairs with a handful of coins. We counted them together and got up to $1.78, then I assisted him with the math on how much more he needed to come up with. Fudge went back to his room and came back with more change, which he had to count. He got the total up to $3.78 and was still short, this time by $1.22. When I mentioned I saw a couple of dollar bills on his bookshelf he indignantly declared, "That's Tooth Fairy money!" I just said, "oh, ok...well, you are a smart boy and I know you can figure this out. Let me know if you need help."

Fudge disappeared one more time and returned with a dollar bill and 22 pennies that he had counted out, bringing us to full $5. What really made my heart soar is when he gave it over willingly, without an attitude. I even said, "oh, I thought that was Tooth Fairy money?" to which he replied, "yeah, but it's just a dollar and I am the one who missed the bus and I agreed to pay for my ride like we said. I can earn more dollars." PROUD MAMA MOMENT HERE- but wait, it gets better.

I thanked Fudge for the $5. It would have been less painful for me and easier for him if I'd said, "The $5? Don't worry about that- I call grace." And had I said that, I'd find myself nagging week after week about hurry up, don't miss the bus, and I'd be driving him to school again, and again, and again. I stuck to our arrangement and here's what else I got...

I asked Fudge if he learned anything from this morning, and he CHEERFULLY (again, shocking) said, "Yes. I need to choose to not be pokey in the morning, so that I can get the bus on time, and I won't have to pay a taxi." We'll see how the coming weeks go, but I know one thing- Fudge thought about his actions, his choices, and the consequences. He problem-solved and he kept his commitment. Fudge experienced that we choose our consequences and he decided that moving forward he chooses to not be pokey in the morning and to be ready for the bus. Nagging would have never gotten us there! Yelling, threats, and stress would not have gotten us to that revelation. Instead, I peacefully gave Fudge the space to be responsible for his choices and the outcome was beautiful. I know it won't always work this smoothly, but for today, in this moment, I call victory and amen!

Friday Night Leftovers- I'm BAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!

2011-09-23T16:33:00.003-04:00

It's been a crazy past four weeks, full of joy and sorrow and a blogging slump. I love writing, so I really do need to make more time to blog, even if just for my own catharsis of having a forum for writing. Here's the latest...

Aruba was AMAZING! Really, my favorite Caribbean island thus far, and I've been to a few. I think our tradition of OBX is on it's way out and Aruba will be on it's way in. My goal is to chronicle our vacation highlights (so I don't forget) and post some pics along with it.

Sadly, my grandmother was killed in a car accident (NJ) while we were in Aruba. We returned home to travel to NJ and say goodbye. Instead of planning the 90th birthday surprise party, the family was planning a funeral. Absolutely heartbreaking. If there's one thing I saw as the entire family came together is that she had a knack for making each and everyone of us feel special- quite an accomplishment when you consider she had more than 55 grandchildren (including great- and great-great)!

Fudge started 1st grade and a huge shout out to the hubs for being super parent while I was in NJ that week.

I am back to being a soccer mom- Fudge swapped out the baseball cleats for soccer this fall and he has not looked back. So, three days a week we are on the field and the first game is tomorrow if we are not rained out.

I did something for myself yesterday- I said YES to an all-day crop next Saturday! Now to get all of those photos printed...I will have a completed album of something yet (said the woman who never got the baby book totally finished).

We've had some parenting revelations around here and cannot wait to share them (separate post, coming soon).

The weekend is off to a good start after this crazy work week: Thai lunch with my mom, volunteering in Fudge's classroom (where one little boy said, "you have awesome, rock-star hair!" ummm,...ok), pizza and a movie with my fellas tonight.

Fudge continues to ask when he's going to get a little sister...in the meantime, he did get a bird. Sir Washington the blue parakeet joined our zoo last week.

Ok- your turn!

Leave some comment love below.

Link to your blog/leftovers.

Leave some love at the lovely Danifred's original FNL site.

Friday Night Leftovers- The Happy Birthday Edition

2011-08-19T15:41:00.003-04:00

What a crazy-busy, stressed-out, full moon type of week, sprinkled with lots of cheer (as we celebrated my birthday on Wednesday) week.

Fudge finished pirate camp today, and based on the ship raid I was in this afternoon, I can totally see how Lord of the Flies could be a factual read.

Evidently my gallbladder, which has been a perfectly behaved organ until I awoke a 36 year old this week, decided to launch a protest. Check out what it had to say (not in the presence of little ears).

I don't have time for a misbehaving, grumpy gallbladder. Vacation is 9 days away. My doc has me going for an ultrasound on Tuesday to see what the issue is, but he says "classic gallbladder." He started jumping to the s word (surgery) and I jumped to "whoa buddy, slow that train down."

The word gallbladder is disgusting to me. The fact that this was likely brought on by me LOSING weight makes my mind spin. Who says diet and exercise are good for you? Evidently, my body didn't get the memo.

Since Fudge was in the ER last week, we did not make it to birthday date night to see The Help. Hubs and I are going tonight...or, that is the plan at least. I think our plans in general give God a great big laugh. Life is what happens when we are making other plans.

We just learned yesterday that my son's school is not ready for the kids to come back, thanks to some off track summer renovations. K-3 will be in the gym and resource wing (Lord, help us all) and grades 4-5 are being bussed 20 minutes away to another school. This is likely to last until October. Anyone see The Money Pit? "Two Weeks!" sound familiar? He will not meet his teacher until the first day of school, since we are on vacation for open house.

Dear Lord, I am formally asking You, could we PLEASE get a break from emergencies and doctor visits? Thanks.

Good weekend in store: movie night, Ducktape Regatta (come support CHKD), Fudge is having a friend over, awesome Sunday morning at church, then dinner with friends Sunday night. Somewhere in there I need to finish packing, wrap up errands, and get some cleaning done around here. Whatever your plans, enjoy!

Ready to share some FNL love? Leave a comment, link back to your own page, and don't forget to enjoy all of the leftovers at our lovely Danifred's site.

You Mean I Need a Passport for That?

2011-08-15T00:48:00.002-04:00

We almost had widespread panic of epic proportion here this evening...

I'm usually a last minute, highly stressed, no sleep packer. You know the type- still up at 2am doing laundry and you're leaving for the airport at 4am. So I am DETERMINED to not delay on preparing for our upcoming vacation. So far, so good. It's hard work being a perfectionist, so there's still plenty of time to hit a snafu, but I am much more prepared than usual. I started prepping for this trip about 2 weeks ago and I continue to prep. I think I could make laundry an Olympic sport these days- it's neverending!

This evening I decided to make sure all of our documentation is on order...flights are scheduled, rental car is booked, resort is confirmed, excursions are being planned, and here we go...one, two passports. WAIT! There's three of us...I need THREE passports. And of course, the missing one was mine. It only took about 15 minutes to find, but the hubs was telling me he'd be sure to send me a postcard. Ha! He didn't find it too funny when I told him that it's expired (kidding!).

So Mama, if you are reading this, I know you are thinking "I told you so." All three passports are ready to go...now I just need to remember to bring them to the airport. =)

FNL: The Is It Vacation Yet? Edition

2011-08-11T21:17:00.004-04:00

What a week...

I read these blogs with cute names for everyone, like Danifred's, and nope, we don't have cute here. But we have wild, and smelly, and fearless, and all boy...so I'll be referring to C as Fudge from here on. Yes, as in Fudge and Super Fudge. If that doesn't mean something to you, you're probably too young to have your eyes on this blog.

Now that I have Fudge, I need moniker suggestions for M. Ideas?

Fudge had not one but two hospital visits this week. Stellar. I think my paycheck should just be issued to CHKD for the next few years. Seriously though, thankful for good care.

It was around this time 20 years ago that I was returning from volunteering with some awesome folks in a very remote village in the Dominican Republic. When I say remote, I mean no filtered water, tarantulas falling on you in your sleep, riots nearby, and no basic comforts...one of the most growth-inducing, eye opening, life changing events in my little life up to that point. Go out and do some good.

Infertility is still a dirty word around here.

Vacation is not a dirty word. Vacation is just around the corner. And after going an entire summer seeing everyone posting their beach pics, I am in countdown mode.

I am going to Aruba. No it does not "freak me out" as one person asked me. Crime happens everywhere. Being escorted by armed military officers in the DR freaked me out a little, being burgled in Jamaica freaked me out a little, seeing corruption up close in Mexico freaked me out a little, navigating the streets of Nassau after dark freaked me out a lot. Aruba? Playing it smart and sensible and looking forward to our exploration of "one happy island."

Looking forward to a rescheduled date night with the hubs to see The Help.

Ok, here are the FNL rules:

Post all those little items rambling in your head and don't forget to join the party and leave some love on the original FNL at Danifred's site.

Children's Hospital: Take 2

2011-08-11T18:42:00.004-04:00

Apologies in advance that our friends/family are learning about this via our blog- we're exhausted and have not had a chance to call anyone besides my parents.

So, when I said in my previous post that we are so thankful for this hospital, it did not mean I wanted to require their services anytime soon! C, of course, had other plans...or at least his little body did. He woke up at 3:30am screaming in pain, completely inconsolable. All we could get out of him was his neck hurt, his head hurt, and we saw that he could not move his head. When he wasn't making any improvement and could not be calmed, I knew we were in trouble. Of course, it didn't help that I just read a parenting article on menningitis the other day either.

We decided since C was still vocal (screaming) and there wasn't any blood involved, we'd head back to CHKD since we've not been impressed with our local ERs and our "doc-in-the-box" office we love for after hours care is not open in the middle of the night. Off to CHKD we went, thankful for no traffic due to the time of night and that we knew the drill...where to park, where to go, etc. C was immediately triaged and admitted in the emergency department.

I'll save you all of the details (I'm too tired to go through them), but we got to see lots of docs and they systematically ruled out some pretty scary things (menningitis, tumor, aneurysm, migraine, etc.) and figured out that the poor child sprained his neck. Who knew? Evidently, "active kids" can sustain a muscle injury, shake it off/not mention it, go to bed where they are immobile for hours and then the muscle contractions set in and spasm (torticollis). So think of the worse "crick" in your neck, or throwing your back out, and that is what this is like. In C's case, it's keeping him from being able to turn his head or lift his chin from his chest and left shoulder.

The good news is we went from screaming and being inconsolable, with pain all over his head, neck, and shoulders, to getting some relief with pain meds and muscle relaxers.

About five hours after all of this started- no longer screaming

Totally high on Valium- there's a smile

C has been released and we are back home; he is resting. He is still having pain, but we are seeing improvement. He is on the pain meds and Valium for the next 48 hours, no activity, and we are to see his pediatrician tomorrow for follow-up. For our prayer warriors out there, please pray for continued pain management/control and healing of those little muscles/regaining a range of motion in his head and neck.

He must be feeling a little better- he finally wants something to eat and has asked if we'd make an exception for McDonald's...I think that can be arranged. :)

Children's Hospital

2011-08-10T21:05:00.005-04:00

My child was EXCITED to learn he was going to the hospital this week. Not just happy or giddy, but slap-your-mama excited. His sweet little face peered over my bedcovers around 7am, already bright-eyed awake and dressed. How disappointed he was to be reminded that his appointment was not for another 7 hours. It has been a couple of weeks since our last ENT visit and this visit was a 2 month follow-up from our last plastics visit. If you're now lost, the back story is here.

C was thrilled when I picked him up from school and we set out on our adventure. From taking a bridge-tunnel (really, people, the tunnel will not swallow you whole; enough with the brakes!) to navigating in the city, parking in the garage, figuring out how to get from the garage to the hospital, checking in, pushing the elevator buttons, getting our parking validated (once a city girl, always...), and having his run of the place. Here are our highlights...

Being sweet in the waiting room

C took this photo of one of the wall murals

Practicing our states and capitals

Having fun

Making faces for the surgeon

Love that toothless grin!

You can't see them, but this man has angel wings!

Looking out of the 5th floor "crown" and enjoying a sucker

Playing in the lighthouse

King of the castle

Not quite ready to head home

Playing on the lawn before leaving, after cafeteria pudding of course

The FANTASTIC news is that C is healing beautifully. The scar from 70+ sutures is fading and looks even remarkably better than 2 months ago. We continue to hear, and know, how blessed we are that C is coming through this unscathed: no impact to his vision and full facial muscle control is regained. His surgeon kept remarking how pleased he was, especially considering all that could have gone wrong, a hair one way or the other...feeling abundantly blessed and thankful for such talented medical care and the healing C has experienced. And I cannot talk about this place without saying please, support your local Children's Hospital. You know it's one special place when kids get excited to go to the hospital!

Friday Night Leftovers- the Saturday Edition

2011-07-16T19:55:00.002-04:00

Isn't that just the face of happiness? What a terrific week I've had taking a "stay-cation" with my little guy. So keeping with FNL tradition...

Will the projects/needs around this house EVER end? Still overwhelmed.

I had a nice week off with C- local farm and history museum, a labyrinth and old time drive in for lunch, visiting a friend in the country, beach, theme park and fireworks, swimming, sleepover, and time with friends.

Thankful for my employment, but it's always hard to go back on Monday after a week off.

Aruba is about a month away!

I gave up all sugar and white flour products...I am feeling great, I am losing weight, but as you can guess, this has not been easy. So far, I am about 2 weeks no sugar and one week no white flour.

Looking for a good beach read? Any of Celia Rivenbark's snarky books will do.

I need suggestions for good beach reads while on vacation next month.

New deck is finished and we need to stain/seal. New windows go in this week!

I am crazy enough to be hosting a Pampered Chef party this week...along with everything else on my busy schedule.

Don't forget to visit all of the other Friday Night Leftovers with our wonderful Danifred!

Alternate Plans

2011-07-14T23:50:00.006-04:00

When I decided to take this week off to have some more adventures with C, I asked the hubs to take one day off so we could all go to the beach together. So we picked today, M was finally able to get the time off, and we were preparing for a day at the beach. The kind of day at the beach where you leave early in the morning, stake out a good spot, and enjoying frolicking in the ocean all day. Great plan, except it does not account for your child waking up with an upset stomach...and being ill past noon. With each of C's runs to the bathroom, my dreams of our beach day slowly faded. I felt terrible for C, I felt terrible for M wasting a day off work, and I was frustrated that a beautiful day was going down the tubes. Seriously, it's the most gorgeous day we've had all summer- lower temps, lower humidity, and a steady, balmy breeze.

Sometime after noon, C decided he was ready to venture out, but he did not want to go all the way to the beach. At least we were getting out of the house, and I could live with that. Once we got past the whining of "why can't I bring a friend?" and "because Mama does not want to be responsible for another kid's life in a large body of water," we packed up and got on the road. Sometimes we lay out the best plans, only to have them changed unexpectedly and given something even greater in return. God is so cool like that.

We arrived at the river beach we had decided to visit, to find that the spot we located was completely uninhabited...except for another family who arrived at the same time as us...who were hiking to the same secluded spot as us...who had one little boy with them. C has never met a stranger and walked up to the boy to say, "Hi, I'm C. Want to be friends?" And the rest was history. We spent all afternoon/evening here, the boys playing, swimming, fishing and crabbing- completely wore C out, which is hard to do!

C and his new friend fishing- caught some catfish and one croaker.

C has no fear- just jumped in and kept on going.

I found a shark's tooth!

One happy boy

We made it!

More fishing

And more fishing

And yet more fishing!

View from the cliff- we hiked down to this beach, then over to the left (out of picture) to a secluded beach.

Ferry ride

Age is Just a Number

2011-07-14T23:16:00.004-04:00

Meet "Mimi"- we've had the privilege of knowing this wonderful lady for over 25 years now and while we are "stay-cationing" this week, C and I took a drive out to the country to visit with this amazing woman. And while I would never list her age, seriously, does she even look like she'd be an age that may rhyme with "matey" and "nix"? She still gets out and walks miles each day and keeps active; we were lucky to score some time on her busy calendar!

We had a lovely lunch together and spent the next few hours just catching up. It was humbling to hear about this woman's life, especially as she walked me through her photo albums. She has seen and experienced so much in her lifetime and she continues to have an utter and complete zest for life. Below are some highlights from our visit...

C and Mimi in front of the old corn crib

C trying to get Buddy to play in front of one of the outbuildings- the dog was too hot and old to be bothered.

A fresh picked apple!

Mimi and her peach tree

Hot!

Mimi playing soccer with C!

We saw ALOT of this!

C and the John Deere

Not quite as tall as the tractor's tire!

Wiped out- slept all the way home.

While C did sleep all of the way home, he was wide awake for the ride out there. This gave us plenty of time to talk about the crops we saw (corn, peanut, cotton, soybeans, and tobacco) as we wound through back country roads. We even saw something new for me- tobacco prior to the top flowers being cut! This visit reminded me how critical it is to make time for those important to us- fabulous day!

Sweet Surprises

2011-07-12T23:24:00.006-04:00

Don't you just love when your child does something completely self-less and sweet? C emptied his piggy bank (all over his bed) this morning, brought all of the change downstairs and proceeded to count coins and divided them into four piles. When I asked what he was doing, C responded, "I want to take M to lunch today at [his favorite place]" He continued to count coins into the four piles and explained one pile was for limeades, one for cheeseburgers, one for french fries, and one for desserts. Then he dumped all of the coins into a zippy bag, asked me to call M's mom for a lunch playdate, and toted his coins out to the car, for our big adventure.

Just when I think he's being selfish, or not listening, or greedy, this shines through and I am so very thankful for the tender heart of my sweet boy. Something else just as sweet? These two have been friends since they started preschool together at age 2 1/2 and their little friendship continues to thrive. And it's interesting to note that her mom and I went to school together and grew up four doors down from each other, so sometimes it's surreal to see these two playing together! A few photos below from our big adventure...

Lunch at their favorite drive-in

Checking out the harbor

Solved the maze and found Posideon

Maze conquerors

We all scream for ice cream! Ok, really, it's frozen yogurt.

Starting the Summer Reading program at the library

Making a map

Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh!

2011-07-10T15:29:00.004-04:00

C is just shy of 6 1/2 years old, and we are a tired bunch because, despite his age, C STILL does not sleep through the night. Business trips are when I get uninterrupted sleep, which usually still ends up interrupted with catch-up for work. Anyway, true to form, we heard C get up last night. The hubs and I were downstairs watching something on History International (hot Saturday night, I know) since I just wasn't sleepy (rare). And we heard C get up, but it sounded more like a thump, so we both ran for the stairs, afraid he fell out of bed.

No, the dear boy had not fallen. He had stumbled into the bathroom and there he stood in full glory PEEING IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET...FULL OF CLOTHES! I thought, "am I really seeing this?" And it was one of those long, did-you-swallow-the-ocean-today? type of pees. To top it off, he was still asleep. The boy SLEEPWALKED into his bathroom and let loose on the basket.

There are many ways to react to situation such as this, but really, what are you going to do? The hubs and I were so stunned, and so wiped out, that all we could do was laugh...belly-busting laughter...which woke C up...which means he turned to the sound of the laughter, and in doing so, continued to stream all over the bathroom floor. He opened his eyes and shouted "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" all the while, still urinating all over the floor. He proceeded to pull his pants up, marched back to bed, and had absolutely no recollection of the event this morning. I may have been up until 2am doing laundry and scrubbing the floor, but I can say it was completely worth it for the laughter.

Surviving Craigslist

2011-07-09T14:34:00.004-04:00

I've been looking for an elliptical that wouldn't cost me a fortune, so I decided to foray into the world of Craigslist. Now that our hot and humid summers are in full effect, I wanted a low-effort way to burn calories while keeping some creature comforts, namely AC and some TV/Netflix to distract me from workout torture. To Craigslist I went and found an elliptical listed for $50- just listed, while all of the others were $150-$300.

So, I emailed the owner, got my questions answered, and we decided to meet at the owner's house early this morning. The home was a few cities over from where I live, so naturally, I told the hubs he had to come with me, and we'd drive by first...to make sure it looked relatively safe. The whole drive to the home I'm wondering where this is, how safe is the neighborhood, etc. I felt even better when we saw one of the neighbors out doing yardwork and wearing a t-shirt from our church. Of course, I left the address with my parents, just in case I was headed to the home of Craigslist killers that were going to take us hostage. Natural fear, right?

We pull up to a home in an older, but well-kept neighborhood, and think "so far, so good" and ring the bell. And who answers the door? Not some hostage-taking, meth-making crazy, but a sweet older woman who is downsizing from a home to a condo and no longer needs the elliptical taking up space in a spare room. I think she was relieved we were fairly "normal" looking buyers too. She chuckled and told us she'd meet us in the garage, since she had "no idea who would show up" and asked her husband to lug the machine to the garage so they didn't have random people, from Craigslist, in the house.

$50 later, I am the new owner of an elliptical, the lady has one more thing cleared out of her home, I've already started burning calories and C is burning off extra energy. A win for all!

Friday Night Leftovers- The-No-Cute-Title Edition

2011-07-08T10:22:00.002-04:00

I seriously could not even think of a title for this edition- my brain is spent!

Last week I was in Charlotte (business) but had a fantastic time catching up with friends, especially staying with a dear friend on Thursday that I had not seen in WAY too long. What is such a blessing is that we were able to pick up like we'd never left off...and we will not let this much time pass between visits. Stop by and give her some love at http://littlepapiandpunkin.blogspot.com

I hope this is one of my last posts without photos...fingers crossed we are laptop shopping this weekend.

C had a good time at camp this week and a fabulous time at VBS last week. I took next week off- not thrilled with the staycation idea for the week, but I do have Aruba to look forward to in August. We have some fun planned next week too, including a trip to the country to visit a family friend.

Trying to wrap up work prior to vacation is never a small event, nor is it enjoyable. I really need to get back to that.

Hubs and I have a date night tonight- actually headed to the movies! Any suggestions?

Want to be part of the FNL fun? Post a comment with a link to your blog, and don't forget to join the orginal FNL party at http://sippycupsarenotforstarbucks.blogspot.com

Friday Night Leftovers- The Random Edition

2011-06-17T12:57:00.003-04:00

Still crazy busy around here...I don't know if I am coming or going and the house is a mess! Oh well, here it is...

The new deck is just about finished (LOVE IT!)...now to stain and seal it...and get some furniture for it. Windows should be in the next few weeks, so The Money Pit is looking better, but still has many more projects to go. Too bad my budget doesns't align with all of the project needs, but good thing we like the house and the neighborhood, because we'll be here a long time at this rate.

C finished Kindergarten yesterday and I don't know what it more bittersweet: watching him go off to school the first day, or having him come home yesterday to tell me he is now a 1st grader.

I've not printed photos since C was 9 months old...I am going to a crop tonight...you see my dilemma. Goal is to have 5th birthday trip to Disney completed tonight. 332 of 800+ photos selected and printing off at the lab now. God help me!

When you explode Red Curry Panang Tuna in the microwave, it takes a LONG time to clean up.

Still feels like I am never going to catch up with this house...between the projects and the clutter it's a complete time suck and that's the one thing I always seem to be short of: TIME! That's my big frustration these days.

2 months until Aruba!

Friday Night Leftovers- The Making a Comeback Edition

2011-05-20T21:06:00.003-04:00

- I'm happy to be blogging again, regardless of how busy and crazy it is around here...and I look forward to reading all of the other FNLs out there...it's been way too long!

- You can now leave a comment...it's working (hint, hint)...for all two of my readers.

- The little guy makes me proud; he saved his birthday and tooth fairy money to buy a new bike. He's crashed three times in the first five minutes on it. If you know C, you are not surprised.

- I stocked up on Sara Bee wine today. Coincidence? I think not.

- There are many conversations I am not yet ready to have with C yet. Leaving the store tonight he tells me, "Well that's weird...those big-year-old kids were holding hands." I responded, "they must really like each other" and we left it at that.

- I accidentally dropped a can of sunblock on the shep's nose. Poor thing yelped and he is still giving me the stink eye.

- Henry Limpitt is on his last gills :(

- Tooth #6 fell out this week...it's amazing the kid still manages to eat.

- Final baseball game is this weekend, followed my some work in the garden.

- Read The Help in 48 hours: best book! Look forward to the movie this August and hope it stays true to the book.

- I had such a nice evening with my mama this week- manicures, shopping, and dinner...and pedicures this coming week. Woot! A little spoiling never hurt anyone, right?

Want to join the FNL fun? I don't remember all of this directions, but in a nutshell:

1. Comment with a link back to your blog and your FNL post (grab the image at the top here).

2. Stop by Sippy Cups are Not for Starbucks and leave some FNL love.

3. Check out all of the other FNL posters.

Almost Summer

2011-05-20T20:35:00.003-04:00

A sure sign of summer on our horizon is the peak of strawberry season, and I think last weekend was the "it" weekend. It was a bountiful crop this year; the overcast sky and swift breeze kept it comfortable while we went to work. And for a kid who refuses to eat strawberries, he sure works hard at picking them!

Look at this beauty!

Perfection!

C guessed that we picked 10 pounds, I guessed 12, and we came in with 12.5 pounds! Pretty good estimation skills for a little guy.

C loves to check out all of the tractors and farm equipment. I like that we found a farm that is nearby!

Stopped by the park on the way home.

Is that a frog in front of those roses?

Miracle Workers

2011-05-17T23:51:00.005-04:00

Hard to believe it's been almost two months since my last entry...I know all two of my readers miss me, right? ;)

I recently spent this Mother's Day like each one prior for the past six years: so thankful to be "Mama" to my sweet, miracle boy. And as I considered just what a miracle this little guy is for us, I was reminded how even when we are at our lowest, our most desperate, God is working.

I used to wonder what the modern day "Lazarus moment" looks like...the miracles documented in the New Testament do not seem to find a home today, at least not in such a visual and tangible form. I wonder no more. I've not blogged much about it, but for those close to us, you know C had a terrible, freak accident on the eve of his birthday. He learned the tough way that you do not tackle and choke hold a sleeping German Shepherd to "hug" goodnight.

C had gone up to bed, I was in the kitchen washing dishes, and he snuck back downstairs for "one more hug and kiss goodnight." As his feet padded toward the kitchen I heard "goodnight 'koda," a yelp/growl, then screaming. I ran into the living room to see blood gushing out of C's head and what I could not tell was if the injury was to C's eye, head, or both. I lost it...as in lost-it-in-the-worst-way-in-front-of-your-kid lost it. I get the chills, sweats, and a stomach ache just writing this. I grabbed a dishtowel, put it on C's head, picked him up, then I started screaming and crying. Yep, totally lost it. M ran downstairs, saw the chaos, and off to the closest ER we went.

I was in a panic- still don't know how I got us safely to the ER while M was in the backseat with C. We opted not to drive to the Children's Hospital about 40 miles away; we figured with so much blood lost and not knowing if the eye was injured, we needed the closest ER. And I get so angry when I think about this, but still, God was working. The ER took us back almost immediately, despite not being able to find my insurance card and a jam-packed waiting room. And then we waited...and waited...and waited...and in 2.5 hours not only did my child not even get a BANDAGE for his head (thank goodness for the dishtowel), but we literally had to ask for pain relief. Finally, he was given codeine, antibiotics, and at least was getting doped up enough that he could calm down. He was pitiful, just pitiful.

All I could do at that point was pray...I was crying, and anger bubbling over inside...it's such a helpless feeling to see your child injured, in severe pain, and there is nothing you can do to make it better. I now understand how some folks just "lose it." Hounding the nurses and the ER docs didn't bring answers quickly- the docs were stumped. And while they should have made this call much earlier in the evening, not 2.5 hours later, the decision to transfer C to another hospital was the best ever. Thankfully, the ER staff did not want to attempt to repair the wound, a plastic surgeon was called, then paged, and he never returned the call, so the decision was made to transfer C to the Children's Hospital. And during this time, I didn't even know what to pray...I just asked that the right hands touch C, the right hands bring him the healing and relief he needed. Really a crude, simple prayer, but oh how God can turn that into something amazing.

One of the ER docs told me he consulted with the attending at Children's, C would be prepped for emergency surgery here, ambulance transferred to Children's, and taken in for emergency surgery. Great, now we have a plan. An IV was started, C's brand new shirt (he was so upset about this) was cut off him and a surgical gown put on. Do you know, the ER never touched C's wound? The paramedics who came to transport him to Children's were the ones who threw out the dishtowel and at least put a dressing on the gaping, and I do mean gaping, wound. Off C goes in the ambulance, I followed by car, and wow, it was humbling to arrive at Children's.

We arrived to an impromptu birthday party for C...three docs and three nurses singing happy birthday to him with presents to boot! Presents were "wrapped" in paper measuring tape, tied and curled to look like ribbon and Connor got to open presents while being evaluated by the three ER docs. I brought C's Bucky Bear in from the car, and Bucky was prepped for surgery to, and even got a matching bandage, just like C's. He (C) was also immediately put on morphine and topical anesthetic applied to the wound for some relief. Take about a night and day experience...we now had compassion and talent packaged together, ready to act. But it gets even better.

We're told the plastic surgeon was on his way in and C would be in surgery about 1.5-2 hours. Surgeon arrives quickly, I immediately like the man and feel confident leaving C in his care. Then the waiting room wait begins. Two hours later, I'm taken back to see C and I am amazed, thinking this man is not just a plastic surgeon, he is some kind of miracle working artist. He took an 8cm long, 2+cm wide gash that was almost down to the bone and made it a beautiful line of tiny stitches, layer upon layer. When I asked how many, he responded, "I stopped counting at 70-some."

When C came to, the staff was still just as wonderful and attentive, playing Disney movies for him, getting him a Slurpee, making sure he was comfortable, etc. until we were discharged. Not how we planned to ring in C's 6th birthday, but this team at Children's made the absolute best of a horrific situation.

And then, I began to see all of the answered prayers that evening, all of the miracle workers who lined up with us-
- My husband, who comforted our suffering son when I was in no condition to do so.
- My mom, who got our panicked call and rushed to the ER, to comfort C and calm me when I was inconsolable. She had already worked a very long day that started around 4:30 am, spent the night in the ER with us, sat with me in the waiting room while Connor was in surgery, and never left my side during that whole, awful ordeal, reassuring me that it would be ok, even if it didn't seem anywhere close to "ok" in the moment.
- My beautiful friend, who dropped everything to meet us at the ER, comfort C when I could not, and provide reassurance to us all...not to mention making sure those nurses were doing it right! I wish for each of you reading this to have a true friend like that- she had just worked a 12 hr night shift as a NICU nurse, spent the night in the ER with us, then offered to follow us to Children's...spent the night in constant communication with us while at Children's, contacted my work for me, and met us at home when we were discharged the next day, with birthday cake, presents, and new shirts for C (since he was so upset about the cut one). Wow- humbling.
- My compassionate co-workers who shared the load so I could focus on C, then surprised him with an amazing care package.
- The physicians at the first hospital knowing their own limitations and calling in the experts, even if that meant a transfer.
-The unbelievable team at Children's that balanced utmost competence with compassion that knew no limits...even the nurse who snuck us past the security guard and broke the "only two" rule.
- A dog that could have bitten and caused more harm than a freak collision, but did not.
- No impact to C's vision.
- And last, but certainly not least, the plastic surgeon, that we wouldn't even learn until the coming days what an answered prayer he is...

It was a rough few days post-surgery. Connor was in a lot of pain, slept through his family birthday party and my family performed a repeat the following night for C...it became a birthday week! We returned to the hospital for suture check and removal, but before we did, I did some research on our good doc. Of all the physicians you could awaken in the middle of the night to fix our kiddo we got:

- The ONLY pediatric plastic surgeon in the entire REGION
- His focus is facial injury and reconstruction
- He was voted a "Top Doc" in 2010 by his peers

Does that just give you chills? All I could pray for was the best of the best, and I got that and so much more. Truly, it was a night of miracles!

Friday Night Leftovers- The Way Too Busy Version

2011-03-25T09:07:00.000-04:00

Spring has sprung, and so have our schedules...baseball is in full swing, school and church activites have amped up and I am traveling over the next three weeks. I get tired just thinking about all that needs to be done. I am overwhelmed- there, I said it.

Somehow, between traveling for work next week and swinging home for 24 hours before we go on a little vacation, I need to prep a bunch of clothes and toys for a big consignment event. NO TIME, however, I've got to get some of these things out of here or it's going to start looking like an episode of "Hoarders" or "Buried Alive" around here. Mom, if you are reading this, yes, yes, I know it already looks like that.

We are headed down to the beach this weekend to celebrate my mom's birthday- looking forward to some R&R and hope I can just enjoy it, not stress about all that still needs to be done.

I am overwhelmed. Oh, did I mention that already?

We celebrated the little man's 6th birthday at school yesterday...sweet. Good "do-over" of what C called "the worst birthday ever."

The home laptop acting funky and me not being able to download pics is getting really old. For Christmas, my brother gave me an IOU for an iPad 2 when they are released- so excited that it was ordered...should be here in late April. So- what apps do you love?

C returned to the plastic surgeon on Monday and he's healing nicely- so that's our big HOORAY for the week.

How to enjoy the leftovers:
1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.
2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).
3. Link back to The Simple Life (http://tsl1.blogspot.com/).
4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.
5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

Stop by and give our original FNL host, Danifred, some love.

We All Need Friends Like This...

2011-03-18T15:55:00.000-04:00

Last night I was at C's baseball practice and it is a whole new game this year. Gone is the tee to hit from and now it is machine pitch for the 6 year olds. As you can imagine, this is quite an adjustment and none of the kids are adept at getting hits off the machine yet. So, we have many swings and many misses, but the boys are looking better each practice.

It was C's turn at bat and his best buddy was on third waiting for him to get a hit. Two older kids were on the first row of bleachers and started talking some trash about C not getting a hit yet, out of earshot of C, but not out of earshot of his buddy B. I had to stifle myself for a moment, debated saying something to the kids, but then, before I could finish the thought, B stepped off third base and yelled over to the two kids, looked them square in the eye and said:

"HEY, THAT'S MY FRIEND! YOU STOP SAYING THAT!"

And wouldn't you know, those two older kids went silent after that. Thank goodness for a 6 year old with enough spirit and courage to do the right thing!

Friday Night Leftovers- The Grumped Up Version

2011-03-11T09:04:00.001-05:00

It's Friday Night Leftovers- but it's only fun if you play along.

- I cannot "find" the FNL image button on this pc this morning.

-Speaking of PCs, I need a new one. The current laptop the hubs and I share is on it's last legs, so no downloading photos (in what seems like ages), and I need to get all of my old photos off. How quickly can that be done with an external hard drive? Need to put my pennies together for a new pc, but it's a little lower on the list these days. Boo.

-The little man lost his third tooth last Friday...at school...and swallowed it while eating a donut. And of course I'm thinking, "WHAT? He was eating a DONUT?" Kidding, kidding. He wrote a letter to the TF and she still managed to visit him.

-Shout out to my mama- my parents are keeping the little man tonight so the hubs and I can get a night out...at a nice restaurant...with friends. Much needed right now!

-Don't ask about my crying jag over a pair of Elmo swim trunks (hormones, anyone?). On the positive side, after 6 years of not letting a thing go that was C's, I've talked myself into consigning about 1/2 of it. Now in all of my spare time (HA- what is that?) I need to get it all prepped.

-C is healing nicely from his recent injury- what an ordeal. I don't think being a mom gets easier; as he ups the injury ante my heart sinks into my stomach even more. A broken arm- walk in the park compared to splitting his forehead wide open, right near his eye, and requiring 70+ sutures. Anyone have an abundance of bubble wrap I can start using for him? I cannot even begin to describe what it looked liked prior to having surgery to repair, but believe me when I say it looks AMAZING (below) compared to what we started with. Follow up with the plastic surgeon again on 3/21.

How to enjoy the leftovers:

1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.

2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).

3. Link back to The Simple Life (http://tsl1.blogspot.com/).

4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.

5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2011-03-02T21:38:00.001-05:00

We're a little weary around here...it's been a rough week full of the unexpected, including a hospital stay, and the job is a bit cuh-razy...so let's go to something lighthearted and I'll post on the other stuff another time.

Tonight, at C's bedtime, I read the story of Joshua and the walls of Jericho. The story told of the Israelites carrying the Ark with them on their journey...

Me: "C, do you know what the Ark is? What it holds?"

C: "It has the Ten Commandments."

Me: (Impressed!) "You're right! Where did you learn that? Sunday school?"

C: "No, Indiana Jones!"

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2011-02-15T09:19:00.000-05:00

C was asking about someone this morning, but he was a little confused with the cast of characters we all know. I wasn't quite sure who he was asking me about and he did not know the woman's name, so he finally said...

"You know, the woman who kind of has the Frankenstein head!"

And while I hate to admit it and I'd never made THAT connection before, I knew exactly who he was talking about once he phrased it that way. Gotta love how kids see the world!

Star Student

2011-02-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

C is "star student" in his class next week, so his homework this weekend was to complete a poster about himself, answering the questions provided. I just loved his responses and wanted to capture them:

My Favorite...

Ice Cream: cookie dough

Color: red

Book: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Sport: Baseball

Toy: Dragon Castle

Holiday: Christmas

TV Show: Caillou

Movie: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

Food: Candy

Pet: Dog

School Subject: Recess

Ice Cream: Cookie Dough

Pizza Topping: Cheese

I am happiest when..."on vacation." (I have no idea where he gets this from ;)

My proudest accomplishment..."making baskets in basketball."

Friday Night Leftovers- The Midnight Version

2011-02-10T23:51:00.001-05:00

IT'S FRIDAY!!! Cannot wait to put this work week behind me.

Again, how is C almost 6? The past six years have gone by at warp speed.

The great entertainment in our house right now is that we are dog sitting...not just any dog, but a dog that is smaller than my cat. A shi-poo named Coco that maybe weighs all of a pound or two, that the Shep thinks is prey to chase...more interesting to his prey drive than the cat. And I'm just praying it's a very uneventful weekend with three dogs and one cranky old cat who does not appreciate the intruder.

C's birthday present is arriving within the next week- a swing set. Really, a beast of a swing set- one that even I can swing on, 6 foot rock wall, fort, enclosed slide. Thank goodness for end of season clearance sales and friends to enjoy it with- the backyard renovation continues, slowly but surely. Now, where to put that zip line? And any bets on our next ER visit?

I am still volunteering in the classroom on Friday afternoons, and I just love it. These kids crack me up and it's sweet to see at this age they are all friends and enjoy each others' company.

There is a beautiful and fragrant blue hyacinth blooming on my kitchen table and overruling the funky dog smell (despite a bath, Marley still smells like something dead).

I'm too exhausted to blog tonight, as evidenced by this post.

Keep Calm and Carry On

2011-02-10T00:33:00.001-05:00

Found out today I'm being asked to take on some new work...which is like another FT job in itself...and "no" isn't an option

New work will require travel...every week in March

The little man is getting ready to turn six. SIX!? Where did six years go so quickly?

The little dog smells...terrible. What dead thing did she find to roll in? Despite a bath, she still reeks of decayed organic matter.

Surprising the little man with a trip to NJ...if there isn't Snowmageddon in the forecast.

Finally had time to clean up the blog...happy with the result.

My name is Jeni...and I'm addicted to pomegranates.

I've lost just shy of 7 pounds over the past month.

We made spring break plans, booked one of our favorite places in FL, and the hubs' boss came back and said the hubs can't have that week off. No words fit to print re: that one.

Friday Night Leftovers- The What Day Is It? Edition

2011-01-28T21:51:00.001-05:00

M had a very successful Barrett's surgery last week, despite some initial confusion and a loud argument between the docs in the OR. Teaching hospitals...gotta love 'em.

Work has be cuh-razy. It feels like I just packed a month into a week. But there was one nice perk last week while I was traveling- staying at the Ritz Carlton. The impeccable room service, the garden tub, the television embedded in the bathroom mirror. Aaahhh!

Sunday night I got this lump in my throat, out of nowhere. By Monday, I looked like I had a huge Adam's apple and resembled a drag queen. Ever the procrastinator, I went to the doc on Thursday. After a rapid strep test, nasal flu swab, two tubes of blood, and two neck x-rays, I was sent home with two Rxs to treat both a sinus infection (I suspected) and "cervical adenitis"- the fancy way to say I somehow got a bacterial infection of the lymph nodes. Who knew? So, my body is fighting something off and let's hope it resolves quickly, because this tennis ball in my throat isn't really working for me.

I've lost 4.4 pounds so far...slow, but steady I guess.

The little man continues to be such a source of joy. We are taking the training wheels off his bike, after his basketball game tomorrow, and I know he's going to do great.

I spent $14 on a label maker today. My husband is afraid to go to sleep, wondering what all I will label as he slumbers (insert evil laugh here).

Totally in love with pomegranates- used up four of them this week, and the scent of Meyer's sweet lemons. I have some in the kitchen and I swear I walk in there just to smell them.

Where can I find a cute little chalkboard for my kitchen, without a hefty pricetag (read, Pottery Barn)? Even Wal-Mart didn't have them. Don't kids use chalk and boards anymore?

Reading a book I picked up at the airport: The Naked Gospel. Interesting look at misconceptions we have about the Bible, that continue to be perpetuated secularly or in the church itself. Just read The Five People You Meet in Heaven, while at the doc yesterday. Good read.

2011-01-03T23:17:00.001-05:00

It has been glorious being off work for over two weeks and celebrating Christmas with family and friends...if only it could last all year long. Sugar daddy, anyone? Seriously, it made me wish I had the ability to be a SAHM, not at the corporate grind daily. I loved waking up and not having a slew of conference calls, reports, spreadsheets, "fire drills" and the like. My challenges were not how to solve for complex resourcing needs or professional development, but Legos or Parcheesi? Play-Doh or snowball fight? Broccoli or green beans? I loved it! I even managed to get some cleaning and organizing done, which never happens with working 45+ hours per week, plus being a mom on top of that. Even our NYC trip being cancelled due to snow was a blessing in disguise. C and I rarely have time to just "be." We had an entire unplanned week together that we just allowed to spontaneously evolve- how refreshing. I must disclose that as stressful as my career is, and all you need to do is watch the evening news re: financial institutions, I am thankful to be employed, and I am thankful to work for a company that provides me the privilege of working from home and keeping a flexible schedule.

I'd love to post more photos, but we currently have the issue of a bum PC, so who knows when I'll have more photos to post. In the meantime, you can see our 16" of snow- a true white Christmas!

There's No Crying in Hot Potato!

2010-12-21T09:25:00.000-05:00

Is it me, or are kids just melting down over the smallest things these days? I feel old even asking that question, but I remember a time when you couldn't do something and mom or dad said something to the effect of "get back out there and try again" and that's exactly what you did. I was recently at C's basketball practice and a kid there was having trouble dribbling the ball, and started crying. And I don't mean just a couple of tears, I mean a full out case of the hooty puckers! Granted, every kid is different, but I have to say, C has never played this sport before, couldn't dribble, and just kept on trying. I think he knew though that if he started melting over that, there wouldn't be coddling waiting for him on the sidelines either. Then again, he's not really what I'd call a "melter" either. Perhaps it's a chicken/egg discussion...does the parent coddling cause the child melting or vice versa? Before you think I'm a total ice queen, yes, kids need love, support, etc...but I don't think we need to swing it to the point of encouraging inappropriate behavior and the inability to foster independence. So back to Mr. Hooty Puckers...he spent the next 15 minutes of a 60 minute practice on the sidelines with dad just carrying on. And no, this is not a special needs child, an autistic child, etc. Is this how "teacup children" and "helicopter parents" are made? Well, now that you probably think I'm one big meanie, I remember when you played sports as a kid and they actually kept score, and you learned how to win and lose gracefully...none of this "no score" crap.

So, I was in charge of coming up with a game for C's class party yesterday and I refuse to buy into this "no winner" mentality. I think if done right, you can play a game where there is a winner AND kids can have fun along the way. After seeing another mom facilitate a bingo game and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey that ended with sobbing and alligator tears at the fall party, I knew I'd have to get ahead of these little munchkins. I was ready! I wanted something simple with very little prep and hot potato seemed like a good pick. To fit the theme I used a stuffed animal penguin and called it "Chilly Chilly Penguin" and it's the same concept as HP, but the CCP is just too cold to hold. I got the kids in a circle on the classroom rug and asked who could tell the class how to play HP. One little girl did a great job of it. Then I explained we'd have a CCP instead of a HP. So far so good. And then I said..."there's no crying in CCP!" The kids giggled, etc. and I restated it just for dramatic effect with them. The teacher whispered it would be a miracle if J did not have a meltdown. I quickly explained someone would leave the circle each time, they would see me for a small prize for playing as a good sport, and then they would be my DJ for one round, and there would be a bigger prize for the winner.

So, the rules and expectations were set and it was time to put the game in motion. And you know what? It went BEAUTIFULLY! We had 19 eager little people who played nicely, learned how to handle the disappointment of being eliminated and the winner was proud that he won and had a different prize as a winner (each eliminated child received a Christmas pencil, the winner received a Crayola Color Wonder maze and puzzle pack). Carefully crafted, I think we can teach kids that we can play games, keep score, and still have a good time. And you know what? Even J was all smiles and not one tear or meltdown over his elimation and never once did I hear "he got a cool prize and I only got a pencil." Now that's a party!

The Difference Between Men and Women

2010-12-11T15:01:00.000-05:00

Here's one for you...

We decorated for Christmas a few weeks ago, but the hubs never got around to getting the candles in the window. So today, what do I see? Candles DUCT TAPED to my window sills! UGH! On what planet is that acceptable? Reminds me of the saying, "if you want it done right do it yourself." Not even clear packing tape, but duct tape. Nice, real nice.

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-12-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe it's been a whole month since I last updated! I've missed this creative outlet, but it's been crazy busy and then some around here. In the spirit of FNL, some quick updates are below.

No great photos posted to the blog since the hub's computer is acting squirrely. I need to get the old photos transferred off before I can start downloading any new ones...5 years worth of old photos. I'm thinking I need a better photo management/back-up system, so I am looking for suggestions. In the absence of a current photo, I posted an older Christmas one I like.

The little man got his cast off this week and he's healed nicely. Of course, now that means he's looking to climb something new...the neighbor just told me C tried scaling their indoor steps by climbing the handrail. Nice.

As much as I want this to be a calm and peaceful advent season, I am stressed. Stress from work and so much to do around the house, plus so many commitments around the holidays. The shopping was all finished a month ago; it's getting the house cleaned up, Christmas cards done, etc. that are outstanding. In 2009 I remember thinking "next year will be different" and here we are pretty much the same. Grrr...two weeks left to enjoy the season, so if Christmas cards don't make it out, you know why.

Little man started playing basketball, with the cast, but he's now cleared for his first official game on Saturday.

We've been traveling fools lately...since my last post we've spent a week in Hilton Head, a weekend away at a cottage we love, a surprise weekend away for C and M next weekend and then C and I are headed up to NYC the day after Christmas. Even I think I'm just about "traveled out" right now...not that I'm going to complain about two NYC visits in 2 months!

M's last surgery did not go as planned; we are awaiting pathology reports (due next week) and we'll go from there.

When the Bough Breaks

2010-11-10T19:47:00.000-05:00

You know there is a difference in you child's cries- the I'm-really-hurt-and-going-to-make-you-panic-cry versus the I'll-get-over-it cry. We had the former this afternoon, that which makes even the toughest mama's stomach drop and panic rise. Before I get to that, let me give some background.

We have a frequent flyer pass with our local ER and the annual Thanksgiving tradition here isn't just the turkey, Macy's parade, and football. Historically the holiday has included an ER visit for C...EVERY year. And JUST TODAY a colleague asked me about this tradition and I responded that I hope we break that one tradition this year, and just enjoy our time in Hilton Head. Well, we hope we broke the tradition and that our ER visit this evening takes the place of a Thanksgiving visit.

My boy must be part monkey; he cannot be outside without climbing a tree. As much as we say "that's dangerous" and "get down" the result is temporary. C will get down for that moment, but once your back is turned, he's at it again. As a mom, I am torn- aren't boys supposed to be climbing trees, catching bugs, chasing frogs and the like? I think this is one lesson that teaches itself though. Frankly, I'm not even sure the result of this fall will be a permanent deterrent for the little guy who likes to do his own stunts.

So, what happened? C decided to climb a tree after school and took quite a spill. He's broken both the radius and the ulna in his left arm, has a shiner forming on his eye, and a large goose egg on his head. My mom and I both knew when we heard his cry, then saw the limp arm, that we were headed to the ER immediately...and C wailed and wailed, which indicated even more that something was seriously wrong. C is finally resting (thank you Tylenol with codeine) with a splint and sling and we're visiting the orthopaedic surgeon in the morning.

Once we returned from the ER my mom and I visited the "scene of the crime" and realized how blessed we are that this was not even more serious than it already is. From where the branch broke and landed, it appears that C was at least 10 feet up in the tree...that sits between our stone driveway, stone walkway, and construction fencing (ditch work being done). There was also a metal landscaping light right there. We are so blessed that C did not hit the stone, the light, the fencing, the car- it's amazing he hit the patch of ground and nothing else, and for that, we are overwhelmed with gratitude. The branch is strewn all over the stone and I'm just so thankful we didn't have a compound fracture or more serious injuries.

I told my mom that I just don't know that my heart will ever be strong enough as boyhood marches on and leaves its nicks, scrapes, and ER visits. Tomorrow we'll meet with the orthopaedic surgeon to learn more, but for now, I'm just thankful my little snuggle bug is nestled in and feeling some pain relief. Thank God it wasn't worse than this!

Random Thoughts

2010-11-08T18:52:00.000-05:00

Tonight's dinner is curry and coconut chicken with rice and Tuscan melon. My son thinks I am out to get him; I think I may be the only one enjoying this dinner, with a glass of wine of course.

Christmas is 47 days away and I already feel "behind."

Vacationing for Thanksgiving is a nice idea, but after cooking a Sunday dinner last night, I called it quits. Actually, I called Fresh Market, and since they are on island, they will be catering my TG dinner.

A split vacation is a concept we are going to test out this year- we'll enjoy 1/2 a week of just me, hubs, and C prior to family chaos arriving and ensuing.

I am packing wine for the trip- lots of it. And my bike. However, I will not be drinking wine on the bike.

During a rousing game of Candyland tonight, my son yells out "AW- THAT SUCKS." Not a proud moment around here, not a word we use. Couldn't get from him where he'd heard that, but I guess it resonated that we don't say it when C asked, "so, is it bad like 'shit'?" Mother.of.the.Year.

I am hosting a baby shower in less than a month- really need to get this place cleaned up and ready to entertain...and the invitations out!

Hoping to get rid of this underlying feeling of intense stress right now!

Friday Night Leftovers...the ON TIME Edition!

2010-11-05T10:21:00.000-04:00

Hello Friday...where have you been when I needed you earlier in the week? Busy, busy week here, but lots of good stuff going on:

I think my homemade mummy costume turned out pretty darn fantastic for an investment of $6 and 4 hours, plus a few glue sticks.

Spent the week in the Queen City of Charlotte, NC- a lot of great work was accomplished, I enjoyed seeing old and new colleagues, and I had the chance to catch up with some dear friends...a successful week in my book, both professionally and personally.

Now that C is a little older, I love being able to volunteer again, and that I can combine it with my passion for education and investing in our children. My "clients" every Friday afternoon are a group of awesome 5 year olds.

We are leaving for Hilton Head Island in two weeks and my son took it upon himself to pack his suitcase. Excited much?

I've been inspired by Sippy Cups Are Not For Starbucks and started packing bento style lunches. Thanks for getting us out of the lunch rut Danifred!

I'm looking forward to a low-key and unplanned weekend...might even finish up the bathroom re-do and will be happy to check that off the list.

How to enjoy the leftovers:

1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.

2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).

3. Link back to The Simple Life.

4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.

5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

Friday Night Leftovers...the Saturday Edition

2010-10-23T13:08:00.001-04:00

Our schedule has been a blur lately, so I am guilty of not dishing out the leftovers these past few weeks, but I've certainly enjoyed reading others in the meantime.

C is having a great time in Kindergarten and I am enjoying volunteering at his school and in the classroom. This week brings us a trip to the pumpkin patch, school pictures, and a pumpkin decorating contest.

Travel has been the continuing theme around here. I spent a long girls' weekend in NYC and have upcoming flights/travel booked to Charlotte and Hilton Head, so it will continue to be a very busy few weeks ahead. I'm excited, but honestly, exhausted just thinking about it right now. I feel like the song "I Need A Nap." Every weekend in December is already booked (how did that happen?), then another trip to NYC.

Our little dog, which I've always said is the not-so-smart one, proved me wrong yesterday. She got out of the back gate (unknown to me) and evidently ran the neighborhood. She is a rescue and the shelter estimated she'd been running in the woods as a pup, prior to being dropped off. The few times we've tried to let her off lead, she bolts, so she is not let loose because we're afriad she won't return. So, yesterday, I have no idea she's running loose and I get a phone call from my mom asking me if I'm missing anything. I said, "no, I don't think so, but I must be if you're calling to ask that." She tells me she opened her front door to find our little dog just hanging out on her front porch. I give the dog credit, she found her way through our large neighborhood, to my parents' house, then stayed for a "play date" with my parents' dog.

Today is the last game in the fall Little League season, followed by the awards ceremony for the boys. Next up: basketball season starts on Monday.

We took on overhauling the dining room and renovating C's bathroom in all of our (not-so) free time. What were we thinking?

I saw two wild turkeys walking down the side of the road on my way home from Starbucks and the market this morning. Random!

How to enjoy the leftovers:

1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.

2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).

3. Link back to The Simple Life.

4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.

5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

Our Life in Pictures

2010-10-14T01:05:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure what look he was going for, but he sure does look ready for a good time!

Dressing himself for school

Mummy candy apple

"Dashing through the COTTON!"

Yep, random pig running around and he sits pretty for peanuts.

A view that never grows old

The mischevious look just prior to attempting to scramble down the bluff

Homemade Pumpkins

2010-10-13T21:35:00.000-04:00

This post is actually recycled from last year, on my old blog. After reading the experience my friend had with her adorable homemade pumpkins, I was reminded that I found a fairly simple craft with C last year, that was a big hit with the family for Thanksgiving place settings. Here it is:

Looking for an inexpensive way to add charm to your table and indicate seating arrangements? Enter the paper pumpkins! We had this on our list of crafts to make last year and we never made it to these darling litte crafts. Here’s what we used:

12 x 12 scrapbook paper (makes 2 pumpkins)
green paper
brass brads (2 per pumpkin)
twine
leaf pattern scissors (optional)

Cut 12×12 paper in half. Cut each half into strips of 10 or more. Punch a hole on both ends of the strips. Use a brad to secure the “bottom” of the pumpkin. Fan out the strips in a circle- it will look like wheel spokes. Cut a leaf from the green paper and punch a hole in one end. Write name on leaf (my little guy liked this job), insert brad, and begin pulling each strip up and onto brad. Once all strips have been gathered, secure brad. Cut piece of twine, slip under leaf, and tie. Easy and adorable, these can be placed on each person’s plate.

Post-Surgery Update on M

2010-10-05T13:48:00.001-04:00

Surgery #7 is crossed off the list and MANY, MANY thanks go out to our awesome family and friends that have supported us with the blessing of prayer, kind words, and positive thoughts. We are humbled by having such a fantastic support network- thank you from the bottom of our hearts. The technical update is that M was in surgery a little over two hours yesterday. A long segment of Barrett's remains (not the news we really wanted) but it was a smooth enough of a segment that it could be treated with radio frequency ablation (RFA), versus cryo. In regular terms, they used a wand to zap off the bad cells, instead of freezing them off. M had two rounds of RFA during yesterday's surgery and he will need at least 1-2 more surgeries to continue to treat the high dysplastic (bad) cells, then another surgery to biopsy. Yes, we are on the frequent flyer plan at this hospital. After some time in the recovery room, a very groggy M was too tired and sore to eat dinner and he's up and around today, but still very sore. Despite requests to see M in his lovely and fashionable hospital gown (can't imagine why he refused those requests), I hope you got a chuckle out of the cartoon I found.

We did A LOT of waiting yesterday...but now instead of feeling like we are waiting with a bunch of strangers, we have folks coming by to say hello, check on us, ask if we brought pictures of "that cute little curly headed babe," and to ask how M has been faring. I like that it is the same support team and that they make you feel at home, in a place you probably don't want to consider anything like home. M and I both jest that we really should have platinum level frequent stay cards by now, and shouldn't there be some perks to go with that, beyond the free ginger ale and sneaking me back into pre-op and recovery?

The downside to tertiary care at a teaching hospital is that it can seem very disorganized and frightening at times. I will never forget M coming to after his first surgery last year, opening his eyes and asking me "WHAT DID YOU DO?" I turned around to see two armed guards in the recovery bay five feet across from us, with their prisoner. Nice. M, of course, thought I raised some kind of ruckus re: waiting and waiting and waiting some more and that security was called. We have to call REPEATEDLY to get appointments scheduled, typically with no callback, and it takes me emailing the surgeon directly (thank goodness for university email search) to ask what it takes to get a surgery scheduled that he mandated? I'm confident the admin team has my photo on a dart board somewhere- so be it. We've learned you have to be an advocate for the care you are prescribed; no one is going to do it for you. M's local GI specialist called the other day to tell me he still has no records, after 12 months of treatment with this hospital, so the poor GI intern got to take that down in his pre-op notes when I explained that I really didn't know what else we could do beyond the multiple requests and releases that have been provided. *sigh* At times, yes, managing a medical condition in this care space feels at minimum like a part-time job.

M and I had a "we are getting old" moment yesterday when the intern for anesthesiology came in. The attending we'd met a few minutes prior was what we expected, the intern, however, looked like he was about 14 years old. And 14 is being generous. Wow, did we feel O-L-D to cross that threshold into our caregivers are now younger than us. In Doogie Howser's defense, he did an excellent job answering my barrage of questions and even gave M a shot of lidocaine before inserting the IV. Where was he when I was being prepped for my c-section? Our next young one to arrive was the GI intern who would be performing the surgery, with the attending at his side. This one looked like he just gave up the tricycle for the two-wheeler, so it is a bit unnerving. All went well, and I am sure they are very talented young men, it just throws you for a loop to think, is this kid old enough to have a beer, let alone perform major surgery?

And just like the trusty specials menu at your favorite restaurant, we're thinking Mondays must be prison day at this hospital. We had the added bonus of two prisoners in our four person bay area, with three armed guards. Yes, prisoners need care too, but preach to me when the guy is five feet away from you and you wonder what he's doing time for. Makes you wonder when you are packing your hospital bag if you need to start adding "personal protection" to your list. Frightening.

In closing, I assume the admin team is tired of me calling for the following surgery the doctor always prescribes, so this time they pre-empted me and sent a note to recovery with M's next surgery appointment. Sweet- and really, about time. We'll be back in early December for surgery #8, and #9 will likely be in February 2011, be it for additional treatment or for biopsies. On a positive note, we are blessed that this condition was not quickly discovered in M. Had his Barrett's been diagnosed just 3-5 years ago, the treatment was radical (removal of esophagus). Despite all of the little annoyances, we are thankful to use new technology to treat this condition, in the hands of the world's best pioneers with it...we're just ready to get things "fixed" and get on with our next adventure. As always, thank you for your concern, care and support- it's priceless.

Lucky #7

2010-10-03T23:52:00.000-04:00

Yep, that's right...we're hoping the 7th time is the charm! M has surgery #7 tomorrow, for treatment of his Barrett's with high dysplasia. Not much else to update at this point- it's been a busy couple of weeks and we know the routine when it comes to tomorrow...make the drive to the university hospital, get settled in, and wait...and wait...and wait some more. For our prayer warrior friends, please keep M and his physicians in your prayers. Our hope is this is one of the final surgical treatments he will need to undergo for Barrett's. We should know more after surgery tomorrow. Since the nursing staff is sweet enough to allow me back in pre-op, walking with M to the OR, then hanging out in recovery, I've had to swear holy not to turn on my cell phone. Assuming all goes as planned, I'll update here Monday night.

The fact that we are on #7 makes my head spin. For those wondering how we got to seven:

Emergency surgery/impaction/initial biopsies and diagnosis
Follow-up/additional biopsies- referred to tertiary care at research hospital
New hospital- additional biopsies for high dysplasia
Mapping for treatment
Failed session (reaction to anesthesia)
Cryosurgery
Radiofrequency Ablation or Cryosurgery (they make the decision once they see current state of the esophagus)

For those just catching up on all of this, some of the backstory is here. We are often asked, how did you guys even find out M has this condition? And really, the story is humorous to hear M tell it. The short answer is, "my mother-in-law tried to kill me at Sunday dinner." We were all eating pot roast and M started to choke, and choke, and choke. Of course, being stubborn and unable to speak, he's still trying to insist that he's not really choking, but maybe a piece of food went down wrong. My dad finally put his foot down and inisted M go with me to the local outpatient center, or we were calling 911 from the house. He got in the car, we arrived at the outpatient center, and they ended up calling 911 almost immediately. That won him a trip in the ambulance from the county's finest, to the ER, to the OR. When the surgeon went in to remove what he thought would be a food impaction, he quickly discovered the impaction was caused by a narrowing of the esophagus (stricture), which is caused by Barrett's, which is caused by severe and chronic acid reflux. So, there you go, my mom tried to choke him. ;)

So, What Do You Eat?

2010-09-23T23:44:00.001-04:00

I get that question...a lot. There seems to be a perception that if we are eating clean foods, then we must be tree-hugging, tofu-eating, make-your-own-clothes type of folks. Nope, not us. The hubs and I both work full-time (and then some) for Fortune 500s, so we really don't have the time to fuss over complicated meals. I included the photo above, because if you are struggling to get a balance of vegetables and fruits into your kiddos, I highly recommend you check out these sneaky recipes. Bonus: I picked up the book this week at Kohl's, as a $5 "Kohl's Cares for Kids" special. My kiddo has been eating pumpkin pancakes with flaxseed meal, wheat germ, and protein powder added in, and the best part is he has no idea I packed all of that into his morning pancake. Victory!

Planning is critical! I think there's also a misconception that if you practice clean or organic eating, you must be skinny and fit. Again, not true here, although it would be nice. The fat and calories of a fresh avocado count and stick to you just like sitting down with some chocolate chip cookies (although the avocados are a healthy MUFA fat). I'm trying, again, to lose weight and the old adage of "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail" rings true. Or, as my friend Amber's dad told us, "Follow the 7 Ps- Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance." Well, he should know; he is a retired Marine Corp General. Ooh-Rah!

To that point, I take time each week to plan out our menu, sample here, and shop for the necessary goods. I like this menu format, as it breaks out each meal, prep that is needed for the next day, and upcoming notes. It seems silly I list "milk" at each meal for the little guy, but it's a great reminder if I'm not home and the hubs has dinner duty (we do try to eat every dinner together, at the family table, but it is not always possible). The lunches listed are C's- I usually will eat a small portion of leftovers from the night before, or something light. However you start to make improvements, just rememeber you don't have to make a radical change overnight. Thing big, start small, and all of those small changes add up for a greater impact!

Mmmm Mmmm Good!

2010-09-21T11:16:00.000-04:00

It's been such a busy couple of weeks that, sadly, I've neglected one of my favorite outlets- this blog. Someone even reminded me that I never finished blogging about vacation (will do). So, while I play catch up, let me share a little gem...

Darling son used to eat all types of healthy and exotic foods- he'd try anything at least once. Within the past year, he's become somewhat picky and it's been a battle getting the right balance of fruits, vegetables, and "eating the rainbow" into him. About 6-7 years ago we went to clean eating; organic, real food that is not processed and is purchased from local farmers and growers as much as possible. Our home is probably as chemical free as it's going to get, and if the hubs wants to sneak a box of Twinkies or something like that, totally his choice. I just ask that he stash them somewhere the little man will not find them. He also sneaks in fried chicken, but again, totally his option. I get many questions about personal care products that are chemical free, so I will try to post a list this week of what we are using, and more importantly, why. In the meantime, I've declared war, a silent war. If my son can wage the battle of turning his nose up at fruits and veggies, game on.

I've decided to sneak as many fruits in veggies as possible into his foods, and the first battle was a victory. He had no idea! Last night I played up the fact that it's the first day of fall today, so let's have a harvest breakfast. What he thought were pancakes were actually multigrain pancakes made with soy protein powder and a cup full of pumpkin puree. And not only did he eat them, he asked for seconds, which the child never, ever does. In hindsight, I would not have placed the pecan halves on top of the pancakes (he removed them), but I should have chopped and added to the batter.

Last week I was able to trick him into spaghetti squash being spaghetti..."This tastes a little different from spaghetti mom." To which I replied, "Oh, it must be a different brand." Yes, it's deceptive, but so far, so good. Tonight's menu? Spaghetti squash, cauliflower coated chicken parm, and tomato sauce full of finely diced zuchinni, carrots, peppers, onions, and mushooms. Stay tuned; I will be posting recipes and results.

Spinach brownies anyone?

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-09-10T08:28:00.001-04:00

Hello Friday!

We survived the first week of school, or, more like C survived neurotic mommy. I'm finding I have to up my organizational game between packing lunches, permission forms, homework, teacher notes, emails, booklists, library books not disappearing, getting the right color on him each day of "Brown Bear," registering for this and that, fall ball, and remembering to get the little man off the bus. Yes, you read that last one correctly. My mom used to pick C up from preschool after lunch each day, so it's a big shift in routine to meet the bus later in the day.

About school, it's only the first week but we are very pleased with our school selection. Being an educator in a former career life, I agonized (literally since C was born) over where he would go to preschool, how young he should start, what schooling we should do at home, what the best option for formal schooling would be, and so on. As this year neared, we'd already looked into every private option in a 25 mile radius. Neighbors and friends encouraged us to give our local school a try- private feel, public funded, and while it's only the first week, you know I've been up there stalking every aspect of it and I am very pleasantly surprised. Our district is known for being the best in this area- many move here just for the schools, so it's nice to see it's living up to all of the praise we've heard thus far.

What are your kids learning? We recently received an invitation to preview "Family Life" curriculum with the school counselor, so last night we headed out for the meeting. Any takers on how many parents showed up to understand what the school is teaching their kids about sex ed. K-12? Bueller? Bueller? Three. You can bet M and I wanted to know what they'd be talking about in Kindergarten, and again, we were pleasantly surprised. They are very conservative in their curriculum and approach, which aligns with our values. However, I'm still shocked that more parents are not taking an interest in what sex ed. their kids get starting in Kindergarten. For the record, at this age they teach good touch/bad touch, saying NO, and telling an appropriate adult.

Have older kids? Do you have any idea what their texts and IMs mean? Check out this article and the databases embedded within- very enlightening.

I'm so annoyed with myself- on a recent trip to the lake I jumped in without properly sealing my underwater camera, which leaked, and hazed the lens on the inside. This is also my everyday camera, so now I need to find someone who can fix this (in all my free time) and I fear the cost may be high. Also bummed about it since we are headed to the beach this weekend and I won't have my handy little camera.

Life is good- I'm headed to the beach this weekend, our favorite island spot. And as much as I love my little guy, this is a weekend just for me and the hubs- his birthday gift to me. So, bring on the beautiful weather, warm water temps, reading a book, a good dinner, looking for shells, and walks on the beach without hearing this all weekend. Sweet! And C has something to look forward to as well; my parents are taking him on a weekend adventure to the mountains and to explore caverns. Many thanks to my brother for house and dog sitting.

How to enjoy the leftovers:
1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.
2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).
3. Link back to The Simple Life.
4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.
5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

The First Week

2010-09-08T23:30:00.000-04:00

Where has this sweet little babe gone? (August 2008, age 3 1/2)

Two days of Kindergarten down and I don't know who is more tired, the little man or me. It's been a mix around here with school starting- excitement and hesitation, bliss and sadness, joyful and tiring. Right now, mostly tiring. I'm exhausted, but I'm not the only one. C was used to coming home from school at 1:30pm four days a week, and 3pm one day a week. Now he gets on the bus at 8:30am and I don't see his sweet little face again until 3:45pm! Here's what he had to say:

How was the first day? "Fine."
What was the best part? "Recess."
What was the worst part? "Mason cut his hand and some girl wouldn't stop crying."
What do you like about your teacher? "She teaches me things."
How was lunchtime? "I want to buy lunch like the other kids."
Why are you so sweaty? "Mr. PE had us running around a gym."

And there you have it. Today, he came home and I asked "how was your 2nd day?" to which he rolled his eyes and replied. "I survived." Where does he get this stuff?

On another note, fall ball started tonight, church/choir is on Wednesday nights, a school event is tomorrow night, and piano is now scheduled for afterschool on Fridays, plus more ball scheduled for this weekend. Somewhere in here I'm supposed to fit swimming back in to C's schedule, plus the basics of working a 45+ hour week, grocery shopping, cleaning house, laundry, meal prep., exercise, etc. Will I ever read a book again? Did I mention I'm exhausted?

Ready to go...all kids in this class had to wear brown shirts the first day of school (yuck!) for the "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" story.

Off he goes!

Riding the Big Cheese!

Settled in at his desk.

We survived!

Roses for Mama

Ready for Day Two. I had to pinky swear I'd not make him wear these shorts EVER again.

A beautiful sunset closed out our day.

Surprise, Surprise

2010-09-01T00:01:00.000-04:00

It's been a week of surprises thus far, some good and some not-so-good, and it's only Tuesday! C's face sums it up. Let's start with the positives...

Dentist appointment was this morning and C wanted to dress himself (now that I should have snapped a picture of!). Button down shirt, athletic shorts, field explorer vest, pirate treasure pouch tied to vest, knee high socks, and cowboy boots. Natch, right? What? You don't leave the house looking like that? The field vest has many pockets and I noticed they were all bulging. When I questioned C about it, he told me that it was full of money. For what? He thought his cat should have a new toy and he wanted to pay for it with his own money. That's a first for C. When tucking him in tonight I noticed the plug out of his piggy bank and not much left inside. He did, indeed, use his little stash to buy Salem a new toy this morning. Sweet, sweet boy. Redeems him from some of his not so sweet behavior yesterday, but in his defense, a 101* fever will grump you up.

Great report at the dentist for C, but really, how did I totally miss the fact that his upper 6 yr. molars are in? And how did I get told I need to switch to Sensodyne? I've got a few sensitive spots and my dentist explained it as natural with aging. Whoa buddy, who is aging? Four tubes of Sensodyne in my free goody bag later, it must be me.

Our weekend was overflowing. You know that expression "I wish you enough."? It was one of those times where your cup of joy feels totally filled up and that is "enough." Between Friday night's dinner party and Sunday night's cookout, I got to spend quality time with some amazing and genuine women. Fantastic time with friends and family at the lake this past weekend too- hoping it's not so long between visits. Yes Mitch, that hint was for you and Kristin; let's get another weekend on the calendar, our place or your's. And I'm dusting off the Cranium box. Warn Kobe!

I've got a basket full of fresh picked peaches sitting on my counter. YUM!

I guess the upside to your hubs leaving a pot boiling on your stove when you leave for a weekend away is that the house did not burn down.

The not so welcome surprises...

That pot is burned to a crisp and the kitchen still stinks from it. And that was not a cheap pot.

The 101* fever, stuffy head, sore throat, sleepless nights, aches and pains, and cough that have made the rounds through our home are still here. Boo! Go away!

Some folks need a filter...as in a turn-on-the-frontal-lobe-in-your-brain kind of filter. I fully recognize that most people have NO IDEA how long we've struggled with infertility and that it took us almost 5 years to welcome our miracle babe. And for that reason, I can put my feelings aside and think of where folks are coming from when they ask if we are going to have more kids...it's a natural question, to a degree. Yesterday, it was my old softball coach's wife, today it was the dentist. What surprises me is how often the question arises, almost daily, but again, I think it's a natural curiousity, making small talk, etc. So I can say in all honesty, I'm not put off by the questions. For those who don't need to know the details and ask if we have other children, we usually respond with something along the lines of "not yet, but we'd love to." For those we are closer to, we give the high level summary...because it's not for lack of desire that we've not expanded our family.

Those responses by us are usually met with empathetic responses, which is great, but I think my favorite response was that of my dentist, who we've known for 26 years now: "Well I could think of much worse than being or having an only child." Me too! So, back to the need for a filter. My understanding and empathy ends when those who know the intimate details and minutae of our infertility, even if with the best of intentions, make the most brainless of statements. Rest assured that "it's a good weekend to make a baby" and telling us that we need to relax while on said weekend does not magically make a viable egg and sperm appear. FILTER! Don't you think if it were that easy we'd figured that one out in the past 5 years since C was born? With all of the specialists, experts, and fertility drugs? Would you tell a blind man it's a great weekend to see the fall foilage? The paraplegic it's a nice day for a walk? Really, learn to use the filter! I was slackjawed when that one came hurling my way about a week ago. And it's not the first time I've heard this ridiculousness from this individual, who is very much in the know with our situation, which makes all of this even more astounding. Yes, sometimes I think "speechless" is the only word to describe this exchange. No, wait, there's one more: FILTER!

Friday Night Leftovers...Our Life in Pictures

2010-08-27T01:48:00.000-04:00

We typically feel like summer has gone by too fast, but this year it seems to have moved at warp speed. How am I the Mama of a Kindergartner already?

Open House

Practice Bus Ride

The Three Amigos

Eating the Rainbow
Oh, how we will miss the weekly farmer's market!

Lots of Dress Up

And building

Celebrating 11 years with Salem

Happy 1/2 Birthday!

Have you seen my house lately? Sad, but true!

Also true...and look at him STILL talking!

My sweet boy

Arrrgh! It's a pirate raid.

Get the fire extinguisher!

I have no idea...

Farmer's Market

How to enjoy the leftovers:

1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.

2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).

3. Link back to The Simple Life.

4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.

5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

Friday Night Leftovers...the REALLY late version

2010-08-23T20:48:00.001-04:00

It's been a crazy busy week- our first full one back from vacation, grandparents visiting, and celebrating my birthday. Woo-hoo! I am reminded how thankful I am for true friends and the love I've been surrounded by during this past week. What a wonderful time it has been! Here are some random, leftover updates:

1. C completely embarrassed me recently when we were having dinner out and a larger man, sitting by himself, had multiple plates of chicken bones around him. As we walked by his table to leave, C announced (innocently), "Wow, that man must like chicken! How many chickens do you think he ate?" To which the man turned and replied "FOUR!" Yikes! C and I had a chat about manners on our way to the car.

2. We recently had the opportunity to hear Joel and Victoria Osteen speak and what a powerful experience it was. I'll make it another post to go into more detail, but what caught me is "what are the weeds in your life?" What do you need to let go of? Great point to ponder.

3. The hubs went all out for my bday celebration...not only are we doing some fishing (you remember, he spilled the beans early on that one), we're also headed down to our favorite beach for a weekend while my parents take C on a trip. Sweet!

4. One of my dearest friends surprised me with a birthday dinner last night...and everything cooked from scratch, clean eating. Wow- I feel loved! We had such a nice time catching up, letting the kids play, etc. that it was one of those evenings where you wanted to linger a little longer around the outdoor fire.

5. We've been asked to join in a wedding in St. Thomas next year! The wedding will be on the island, but as part of a 9 day, island hopping cruise. Sounds good to me! Now I just need a money tree to grow in the backyard, since we're already heading to Aruba for a week.

6. The lake weekend is on....just a few more days to go!

7. I love a good Tyler Perry movie, but even more so than the storyline of overcoming obstacles and brokenness, I love me some MADEA! "Ma to the DEA!" Madea Goes to Jail was on last night and I laughed so hard I thought my sides were going to split. You can see a clip of her here.

8. The sheppy got his sutures out on Saturday; no more cone of shame.

9. The new fish's name is "Nicky-the-Camel" fish. Sometimes it's "Nicky-the-Alligator" fish. As one friend recently pointed out, either way, it sounds like the fish is in the mob. You've heard of made men? We've got a made fish!

10. Looking for a good end-of-summer read? David Baldaci is still fantastic!

11. Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean that you SHOULD. Just because you can wear a bikini, doesn't mean that you should. Google "fat woman in bikini" to see that premise in action. Well, just because you can build a mosque near Ground Zero does not mean that you should. Good luck finding the union workers to build it.

How to enjoy the leftovers:
1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.
2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).
3. Link back to The Simple Life.
4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.
5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

A Comedy of Errors

2010-08-17T15:26:00.000-04:00

Well, if I cannot laugh at how the day went, I'd surely be crying by now...

Last night was the eve of my birthday and I was driving home from a business meeting about 90 miles away. A co-worker and I stopped at a gas station to grab a drink for the road, and as I was leaving, plowed into a concrete post, that was NOT visible from any of my mirrors, as it sat so low to the ground. Bumper is damaged and will need repair since I dented it some and scratched of the paint.

Woke up on my birthday thinking "it's a new day." The hubs surprised me with breakfast in bed, but not just any b-in-b...Taylor ham, egg, and cheese on a hard roll. For my Jersey friends, you know he rocks. Where did he find Taylor ham? Nan and Pop came down to celebrate with me, as they do every year, and they always bring me some Taylor ham. Start of my day got even better when C ran in with a homemade birthday card and showered me with hugs and kisses.

I took C to camp for the day, and it all went downhill from there...

I didn't have time to get a shower before shuttling him off, so I thought no big deal and I'd get one later, just threw on some denim capris and a tie-dyed t-shirt, hair a little crazy, no makeup, and flip flops. Camp drop-off was fine, I returned home to realize the dog, who recently had surgery, had somehow removed his cone of shame, and now it was missing...and the dog had chewed out some of his stitches.

Spend 20 minutes roaming the backyard looking for the collar, crawled under the nasty deck where he likes to hide, praying a snake, mouse, etc. was not waiting for me, and still could not find the thing. Walk around the yard one more time and find it wedged behind C's playhouse. I swear the GSD has outsmarted me and hid it back there. Called the vet re: what to do about the stitches.

My company extends me the privilege to work from home, but now I'm late signing on, having played search party for the cone of shame. I get connected and had a call with an exec first thing...and just as the call gets interesting, I hear a loud boom and the line goes dead. Thank you, Mr. Utility Workers on my street, for blowing the transformer. Your time estimate of "it's gonna be awhile" was oh so helpful.

Put GSD back in his cone of shame, grab laptop and cell phone and head to parents house to connect. Cannot connect to their wireless network (Ft. Knox anyone?) and realize I need a MAC address to pre-register on their network. Spend almost an hour on the phone with India, being bounced from tech to tech, to determine how to locate a MAC address. In hindsight, Google gave me directions in seconds. Grab my MAC address, go to sign on, and I still cannot register with their network...to which my mom replies, "Oh, oops...I forgot we can only register five devices." Since five were already registered, I decided to bump off my brother's devices, but alas, it would not allow such. So, at least 1.5 hours wasted at the parents' house.

I could not go to a local company office, dressed as I was, so I called the library to confirm they have free wi-fi, and they do. Drive to library, ask if there is a conference space I can use since I need to make calls. Here's how that went (gotta love local government):

Librarian: "Do you have a reservation for the room?"

Me: "No, is it free?"

L: "It's reserved at 1:30pm."

Me: "Ok, so it's 11:30 now and I can be out in 2 hours."

L: "You need to make a reservation."

Me (silent voice in my head): WTF?

So I proceed to fill out a lengthy reservation (party of one), so the librarian can open the room and let me in, then lecture me about leaving everything EXACTLY as I found it. I still cannot get connected, gather up my laptop and belongings, head back to the librarian to ask the secret to connect and she points me in the direction of the secret code. Go back to room, set back up, and librarian returns with another form I must complete when I am finished using the room. Really?! Get connected to the internet, but VPN will still not connect.

By this time I am on a conference call via my hubs' cell (mine died) and trying to connect. A coworker on the call told me another coworker nearby had room in a spare bedroom office, and I could work there. Great! Turn in my forms, pack-up, and head for the car, doing a big safety no-no: keys in pocket, cell phone cradled on ear/shoulder, carrying too much stuff.

I was parked near a tree line and a HUGE, I mean HUGE, guy comes running at me. At this point I drop the phone, put the laptop out as a shield, and yell for him not to take a step closer to me. He says he just wants to talk to me, I yell not to approach me, gather my stuff, and back my way to my vehicle, watching to make sure he does not approach. As I open my car he turns around to say, "I wasn't going to hurt you; I just wanted to give you this."

It was a Watchtower...so here I am the crazy lady in the parking lot yelling for a Jehovah's Witness to back off. I think his approach may need some fine tuning, but I feel awful I've offended him. If you've taken self-defense training for a long time, it kicks in, and I still operate by "my safety first, your feelings second."

Get back on work call, assure everyone I'm ok and head home to see if power is on. Pull up to cross road and just as I do, bells and whistles go off- train is coming through. Sit through train crossing. Stop home, still no power 4 hours later. Head to Chick-Fil-A to grab lunch, line wrapped around building. Head to coworker's house- and thankfully, get connected and set-up. And thankfully, she looks like I do today.

Then the work calls continue and they were their own form of entertainment.

Receive reminder call from doc that son has 8:15am appt. tomorrow...not on my calendar, totally forgot.

Spent years swimming competetively and now, at 35, have my very first case of athlete's foot, courtesy of our Florida vacation? Nice. Thanks.

If I could ever get pregnant again, I'm now "advanced maternal age."

Finally get home, shower, get ready for birthday dinner- which was great. More to post from vacation, birthday, etc.

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-08-12T09:31:00.000-04:00

1. My husband is a terrible secret keeper- he just can't do it. True to form, he burst out with telling me my birthday present two nights ago. *Sigh*...so close!

2. Birthday present totally rocks- going on a fishing trip (yes, that's what I wanted for my birthday).

3. I need a laundry fairy to come help with all of this post-vacation unpacking!

4. "Everybody's talking 'bout a day up at the lake..." Dan Zanes had it right and we are looking forward to a weekend at the lake, with friends that are really more like family to us. The countdown is on...two weeks to go! Mitchell- I'm bringing Cranium because there was nothing like seeing Rudy act out "tornado" and I see some late night fishing in our future.

5. I love that I live in the same neighborhood I've lived in since the 6th grade. Neighbors I've known for 25 years stopped by today to make sure our dog is home and ok, since a GSD was found roaming. There's something to be said for those community connections.

6. Re: the lost dog, there is NO WAY the hubs will go for another sheppy around here.

7. When asked my age, my son says that I am 25...and therefore, he is my hero.

8. My grandparents never miss my birthday; they are arriving from NJ this weekend and Nana will bake my birthday cake. Spoiled lately?

9. It's almost market day and after being on vacation, I cannot wait for the farmer's market and all of that fresh, unprocessed, chemical-free food.

10. When C and his buddy were playing around in the pool and C dunked him, we asked why in the world he did that. To which he replied, "I baptized him! You know, like John baptized Jesus!" We had to ask C to not baptize his friends in the pool.

How to enjoy the leftovers:

1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.

2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).

3. Link back to The Simple Life.

4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.

5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

Vacation Adventures: Day 2

2010-08-12T01:38:00.000-04:00

Sunday morning we awoke to gloriously sunny skies and bid Savannah adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but we have time scheduled in Savannah this fall, so that made up for not having enough time to traipse around the city this go 'round.

On the road again, we found a peach stand at exit 49 and there is nothing like the sticky, sweet, dribbly goodness of fresh Georgia peaches, just off the trees!

We finally made it to Florida!

Are we there yet? YES!

What impressed the kids immediately...

Telling the kids we ARE vacationing together, here, at this resort...

Aaargh!

Resort (notice the rainbow)

Dinner, waiting for the magician to perform

We visit Orlando annually, but this was our first stay at Marriott's Harbour Lake and we would definitely return. While Marriott's Cypress Harbour is still my favorite (right across the street from Harbour Lake), the pirate ship, slides, water play areas, and pirate theming at all pools was a huge draw for C. After a week packed full of theme parks and friends, when asked what the best part of the trip was, C responded, "the pirate ship." And that was our one requirement for a resort this year. After visiting Myrtle Beach last year and staying at a Starwood resort with a pirate ship, C was hooked. We were surprised he asked to return to Myrtle Beach, since we usually go to OBX or HHI for beach time. Digging deeper, it turns out he really doesn't care that it's MB, he just wanted a pirate ship and Harbour Lake delivered. The staff was friendly and helpful and the Key West theming/architecture was a nice touch. This is definitely a resort we'd recommend for those with younger kids.

Vacation Adventures: Day 1

2010-08-10T22:46:00.000-04:00

Our wanderlust is insatiable and we get pure joy out of surprising our little guy with travel, and he has been surprised many, many times over the past five years. We struck again with a 10 day adventure in Florida, complete with our best friends. The boys had no idea they were vacationing together, which made it all sweeter. Here are some highlights, more to come...

The boys goofing around as we got on the road...C had no idea where we were going and B insisted we were going camping at the beach. Little did they know!

Opening gifts from Nonna and Poppy

How can you not stop?

Best buddies

Pedro

2010

2009
What a difference a year makes! I need to dig out this same photo from 2007 and 2008.

Savannah welcomed us with a beautiful sunset

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-07-28T23:55:00.000-04:00

We are taking a class at church on Wednesday nights and C is in class at the same time as us. Their theme for the summer is heroes of the Bible, so we've heard all about Moses, Daniel, David, etc. I have to say, I was stumped with tonight's hero...

Me: "Who did you learn about tonight?"

C: "Chester."

Me: "Chester???"

C: "YES! CHESTER! She was a princess and she had to get everything straightened out, and she had to be brave."

Me: "You mean Queen Esther?"

C: "YES! THAT IS WHAT I SAID, PRINCESS CHESTER!"

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-07-23T18:54:00.001-04:00

Cleaning out the mental fridge...photos to follow sometime.

1. A week at Safety Town wrapped up today and I am so impressed with the program our local fire and police put on with these kids. C can tell you what to do in many different types of emergencies. However, he's now like a hall monitor around here. Remember those annoying kids? Seriously, I'm glad the safety is important to him. I've already heard where I need more smoke alarms and he placed an "X" on many items under the kitchen sink that he should not touch. Yeah Safety Town! Plus he looks so cute in his firefighter t-shirt, badge, and hat.

2. 7 days until vacation. Am I ready? Not even close. STRESS!

3. Two great aunties I've not seen in over 20 years came by for a visit; it was so nice to hear family stories since my grandfather passed away in 1995 and I've not heard some of these stories. Along those lines, my cousin and her extended family came to visit and we all had a blast catching up with one another.

4. C has his 1st ear infection since getting his 2nd set of tubes. Nothing like yellow goo oozing out of your kid's ear.

5. Did I mention 7 days until vacation?

6. Thanks to my crazy stylist, C is sporting a blue mohawk as of this afternoon. No, it's not permanent, but he sure wishes it were.

7. I think maturity sneaks up on you in devious ways. I now have a mechanic. I used to think that was something old folks had. And to make it worse, I have a mechanic that is 11 years younger than me. Something seems off about that- when did I get older than my mechanic, my stylist, etc.? At least I still have the crotchety good old boy that renovated the kitchen!

8. It's hotter than Lucifer's crotch out there; I'm rethinking my notion that global warming is a bunch of crap.

9. My normally sweet and sane child just threw an all out hissy fit screaming "I WANNA WATCH BARNEY"...complete with jumping and flailing. Wow- I don't think he's ever done that before. Chalking that one up to heat, ear, and lack of sleep last night.

How to enjoy the leftovers
1. Write out all the random thoughts swimming in your head that don't quite constitute a blog entry of their own.
2. Copy and paste the Leftovers photo onto your post (copy photo, upload to your post).
3. Link back to The Simple Life.
4. Enter your blog name and the permalink to your post into the comments section.
5. Visit all the other leftovers and leave your love over the weekend.

Organized Travel for Mamas

2010-07-16T23:57:00.000-04:00

We love to travel- it's an addiction around here. If a month or two has passed without an adventure on the calendar, I get antsy; insatiable wanderlust is here to stay. While preparing for an upcoming vacation, I knew I needed a couple of things to get us organized in that why-can't-I-find-that-in-the-bottom-of-my-bag type of way. Now let's hope these arrive before we depart on our next adventure!

1. C's Dopp Kit
With the little man so independent these days, I wanted a way to keep all of his toiletries together so he can go straight to his bag when needed, and voila, all he needs in the bathroom is in one place. It also needs to travel well and keep spills from leaking onto other items in his suitcase. We had to retire his last kit as it received so much use that it recently went to shreds. Finally, I wanted something I could use for swim lessons, when not in use as a dopp kit. And after recently reading that vinyl lining contains high levels of lead, it had to be lined in something else and able to be thrown in the wash. I had a hard time finding exactly what I was looking for until I went to Etsy. Check out this find (9''x11") by monkeyfootdesigns:

2. The Ouch Pouch
What a great concept! I usually throw some band-aids, Neo to go, and other small first aid items in a plastic sandwich bag, but the bag ends up beat up in our backpack we use on day trips, around amusement parks, etc. and the contents spill. These come in various sizes, starting at 4"x5" and various patterns, including "kid patterns" and "mom patterns." Kudos to PillowSewCute for this organized, adorable, low-cost solution:

3. Epi-Pen Pouch
I had no idea these pouches even existed, and frankly, there is no easy way to carry two big syringes around. Do you leave them in the box (which ends up battered and contains all of your Rx info), or take them out and know you are going to be scrounging around in a backpack or purse during an emergency if they are ever needed? Thanks to a beesting allergy, I get to carry two of these syringes with me and now I've got a practical and stylish way to do so. The pattern I ordered no longer shows online since it was sold (to me), but you get the idea from another one below, also by PillowSewCute:

Totally in Love- July

2010-07-11T00:46:00.000-04:00

A new"ish" series for this blog, hopefully on a monthly basis.

Desert Essence's Vanilla Chai Body Wash...all organic and chemical free, and it smells heavenly!

Fresh Rainier Cherries

Talking with my grandparents for about an hour every Saturday morning

The gift of friendship

Excitement embodied in a 5 year old

Loyal rescued dogs

Fluffy white bedding

Dr. Bronner's Organic Almond Soap, with a buh-zillion uses

Soap nuts- chemical free in the laundry

All natural, chemical free deodorant stone

Compassion

2010-07-10T23:08:00.000-04:00

I love how younger kids think- unfiltered, uninfluenced, and straightforward. Without going into the details, suffice it to say that M and I have struggled, and continue to struggle, with infertility. We like to say our little miracle, above, was five years in the making. And while we'd love to welcome another little miracle, it just hasn't happened yet. For well over a year, C has been intently focused on... "when will Mama have a baby? When will I be a big brother? Mama, can you have four more babies?" And so on...

On a drive home this evening, C asked if he could have a baby sister, and when would one come out of Mama's belly? We gave our standard response, along the lines of we'd love to welcome another baby too, we don't always know God's plans and timing, and we understand C's disappointment with not having a sibling yet. His response floored me:

"Mama, aren't there babies out there who have mommies and daddies who can't take care of them? Can we take care of them? That's a good way to get a brother or sister too."

How I love my boy!

One Fish, Two Fish

2010-07-03T21:30:00.000-04:00

I awoke mistakenly thinking we were headed to the beach early this morning...but we overslept (RARE with C) and couldn't find his water shoes (still needed to protect the injured toe). The little man evidently had other plans anyway, and scoffed at the beach idea. He did, however, think it was a perfect day to go fishing. Not wanting to be bothered with crowds locally, we took friends up on an offer to use their pier to see what we could catch. Turns out it would have been a poor beach day anyway; jellyfish were everywhere. Some highlights of our big catch below...

Getting the equipment ready

Caught a Croaker

Giant Blue Crab

Chicken on a string was all we needed to bring in 15-20 Blue Crabs

Relaxing

Little Fisherman

Small Croaker

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-06-23T05:17:00.001-04:00

Some recent ones...

We were riding in the car when I heard...
C: "Mom, peel back the roof!"
I had to stop and think a minute about that one. Turns out C was asking me to open the sunroof.

For those parents who have children that do not sleep through the night, I can relate, and I completely empathize with you. C is 5 and still does not sleep through; usually between 1-2am he wakes up and comes looking for us. Last night was no different, and as he stumbled into the bathroom at 2:40am to take care of business he asked me:
"Does seaweed have iodine in it?"

Seriously, who ponders that, and in the middle of the night no less? I had to respond that I didn't know and I'd find out for him...in the morning. Turns out that indeed, seaweed does have iodine in it! Who knew?

Post-Surgery Update on Mark

2010-06-10T16:22:00.000-04:00

First, thank you for all of your prayers, well wishes, and offers of help. We are blessed to have such a caring network of friends surrounding us. It's 4:30 Thursday afternoon and I sit here in the recovery area with Mark, listening to all of the monitors ping...ping...ping...

Today's surgery was considered a success; what an answered prayer that is on a long journey to date. They were unable to use the HALO method as planned (burning off the bad cells), as you need a relatively smooth area to apply to. In his case, and with the amount of damage in place, it made more sense to freeze off the cells (cryo). We knew from pre-op that they would not make a decision until they actually saw the current state of Mark's esophagus. The good news is that they believe they got the majority of the Barrett's column.

Right now, Mark is VERY groggy and sore as he recovers from the procedure and the anesthesia. Specifically, he has a very sore throat from the procedure. He's ready to go home and sleep this off. He's also looking forward to having some food since it's been almost 24 hours.

So, we should be discharged soon and should be on the road. Our big watch item right now is for chest pain and any signs of perforation. We get to repeat this process in about 2 months; thank you again for your thoughts and prayers.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-05-27T20:54:00.000-04:00

At prayer time tonight:

C: "Mama, I really wish you had a baby sister in your belly."

Me: "Me too C, me too..."

C: "I'd even give her the really big room."

C: " Mom, guess how many days it took God to build the world? Six, it took Him six. And on the 7th day, He took a break!"

Totally in Love

2010-05-20T21:44:00.000-04:00

So many updates I need to post, but I'm wiped out from work right now. In the interim, a fun little post about our recent "loves."

1. Jumanji- Somehow, somewhere, C found a DVD around the house of this movie, from 1995! I think this could be somewhat overwhelming for some kids, but C has a great sense of reality versus fantasy. He's totally engrossed in this movie and watches it everyday in the car.

2. Heirloom Tomatoes- I am growing a few plants from seed, but have purchased a few locally and love the green striped ones that are crimson red, almost purple, on the inside. Yum!

3. Starbucks- Yes, I'm back to my love affair with the corporate whore of coffee on every corner. However, my wallet cannot keep up with her expensive fees, nor my body with her massive calories! Still, a White Chocolate Mocha is such a treat.

4. The Magic Treehouse Book Series- by Mary Pope Osborne. We are currently reading book #10, about the wild west and a ghost town.

5. C Reading to Us- This is such a joy and our little reader is really taking off. His favorite one to read right now? Hop on Pop!

6. Hydrangeas- just picked up some "Forever Summer" and cannot wait to plant them this weekend.

7. The Book of Nehemiah- As our church is in a three year building campaign, our current worship series is "If These Walls Could Talk." I never used to find the OT interesting, but this book has really touched me to see how these faithful worked and perservered to rebuild, while opposed from all directions and the enemy infiltrating. Our pastor has a gifted way of bringing it to life, like reading a Hollywood script!

8. Flip Flops- I tend to wear them year 'round, but I'm so thrilled to have my perfectly pedicured tootsies exposed without looking like a crazy lady. Barefoot summers rule, but flip flops are great for those "shoes required" occasions.

9. Monkeying Around- monkey bars forward, backward, upside down, pullups, giving Mama a near heart attack with all of the climbing up high...C does it all.

10. Jersey Days- I have to call these Jersey days because growing up in NJ, we had those perfect days, even in summer: 75 degrees, full sun, low humidity, a light breeze, and wonderful scents from my Nana's garden. Ah, how I love and miss that weather, but every now and then, we get similar weather and I tell M, "YEAH! IT'S A JERSEY DAY!"

Mother's Day...

2010-05-09T22:35:00.000-04:00

...is one of the toughest days of the year for me. It's bittersweet; I'm so very blessed and thankful to be C's mom and on the other hand, I feel so empty that we continue to struggle with infertility. I always imagined myself with at least two or three kiddos, so the picture to me is still incomplete, and as C gets older, it's a painful reminder that the bonds of a sibling are not there to be shared.

The day always has a rough start too; it's baby dedication day at our church. This morning over 50 families lined up to have their young children dedicated and it just became too much. As a side note, what is it with Baptists having a lot of kids? Biblically, I know it is a blessing, so then I think "what am I doing wrong? Why are we not blessed in this way?" By the time they prayed over the families who struggle with infertility, I had hot tears streaming down my cheeks. Historically, Mother's Day has not usually been a good one around here- something usually goes very wrong. Like the year we spent the day putting together a swingset with the wrong parts, the wrong holes, etc.

Of course I don't want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but this one saw me taking a nice spill on my bike, which I have not done in years! At almost 35, the "after" hurts alot more, I'm sure of that! I have a large black bruise on the back of my thigh, another on my knee, and yet another on my shoulder. We hosted my family for dinner, so I ended up doing a lot of prep work, etc. I told M, next year, can we please just take C and go away for the night and do something FUN on Mother's Day. Our bike ride was supposed to be the "fun" today, but that did not happen.

While you celebrate Mother's Day, don't forget those who are praying to be blessed by a child as well.

10 Honest Things

2010-04-30T22:23:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by my SIL, Dawn, so here it goes. If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged. The rules are I have to list 10 honest (and interesting, but that’s up to you) things about myself and then pass it on to other bloggers.

1. I'm neurotic when it comes to my son...guess I should probably start a "therapy savings account" for him now, while he is young. Really, I just don't want to do it wrong. He's our first, our only, our miracle and I've got one shot to get it right. No pressure.

2. I've stopped watching the news. So much of what passes as news isn't truly newsworthy, and the rest is just too painful. When you struggle with infertility and you turn on the news and every other story is about child abuse and neglect, it's just to much on the heart. The rest of it is SSDD (same stuff different day)- someone got shot, someone dealt drugs, the government is misusing my tax money, some people choose to sit on their asses instead of working an honest job, and there are way too many folks crowding our schools, our communities, and our healthcare systems illegally (I'm all for LEGAL immigration), the weather forecast is innacurate and there was traffic somewhere locally.

3. I'm an avid reader, so much so that if my only quiet time is midnight to 1am, I'll take that hour to read. I also like to write and would love to pursue that more, but I've not found a way to fit that into my schedule.

4. I love to travel. Most women I know spend their money at the spa, the salon, and on the latest fashions. I'll skip stocking the closet if that means I can go on another adventure. C's caught that bug too...started traveling with us at 3 months old and hasn't stopped.

5. I have a soft spot for German Shepherd Dogs. We've adopted two through rescue and their loyalty, intelligence, and ability to forgive are amazing. Our house isn't a home if it doesn't include a sheppie. The current one is neurotic, so we get along well.

6. Shhh...don't tell my hubby this one. He's usually the macho one, but when we decided to learn SCUBA and it was time to dive, we were off the coast of Cancun in very rough surf. When it was time to submerge, he freaked out a litle, so the dive master surfaced with M while I kept descending toward the reef. So there I was on my first dive, 25 feet down on the ocean floor, BY MYSELF, hoping I remembered how to breath, how to clear my mask, that a shark wouldn't eat me, etc. Childbirth proved I'm capable of just about anything, alone on the ocean floor confirmed it. And yes, M finally made it down there too, and had a great time.

7. I'll swim, kayak, board, snorkel, and dive in the ocean, but I get completely freaked out when it comes to swimming/tubing/skiing in a lake or river. I was 4 months pregnant and purposely snorkeled with sharks, but I would not take a swim in a very large lake. I sat in a ski tube and paddled around the cove...'cause you never know when a turtle, snake, or sunfish might get you!

8. I'm giving myself permission to stop investing in a friendship that no longer aligns with who I am. It's liberating.

9. Along the lines of Dawn's cryptic post, the cops once brought me home to my parents at about 2am on a Saturday...story for another time. However, I was not arrested.

10. I miss being thin, athletic, and fit. There, I said it.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-04-28T23:19:00.000-04:00

This week is "community helpers" week in C's kindergarten class, which is just another way to say career day for the little people set. I'm a consultant in the financial services industry; bet you've never heard a kid say "I want to grow up and do that!" No? Me neither. I am so very thankful my presentation does not follow the police's...how much of a killjoy would that be? I thought I'd ask C what he knows about my job.

Me: "C, what kind of work does Mama do?"

C: "You play on your computer and talk on the phone all day."

Me: "Is that all?"

C: "You tell people what to do. Sometimes you think they need a time out."

Me: "Ok, well, I also work to help people get the money they need to buy a home. How much do you think a house costs?"

C: "28,000 dollars."

How I wish!

Update on M

2010-04-21T20:43:00.000-04:00

Update for family and friends; thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers.

If you are new to M's diagnosis, backstory is here. The quick summary is he was diagnosed with a pre-cancerous condition of the esophagus last March. One minute we were having Sunday dinner at my parents' house, and the next, we'd won a trip to the ER from our county's finest paramedics. After emergency surgery, we learned of M's diagnosis. We've not lost our sense of humor though; we all still joke that M's mother-in-law/my mom may have been trying to knock him off with the pot roast.

Today was surgery #4 and we're not much further ahead than when we started. #1 was the emergency last March, #2 was last October that confirmed high-dysplasia Barrett's, which won us a referral to a univerity medical center. Thankfully, one of the top docs for this condition is within a 1.5 hour drive, so we feel blessed we're not traveling beyond that. We met with this team in November and surgery #3 was in January. That surgery was supposed to be the first radiofrequency ablation of the dysplastic cells, but they did not use the BARRX HALO that day. Due to the high level of dysplasia, they ended up re-mapping the esophagus during that surgery, setting us up for surgery #4. M was a bit frustrated when he came to after #3, to learn that treatment had not begun.

So, today was the BIG day, surgery #4 and the first round of BARRX...and today we hit another barrier. While these are surgical procedures, they are done under very heavy sedation instead of general anesthesia. Even with the maximum "drug cocktail" today, and permission to go sligtly beyond the max, they could not get M sedated enough to complete the procedure. In technical terms it was, "M became combative and we finally had to abort the procedure." Simply put, though heavily sedated on quite the drug cocktail, M ended up trying to remove the scope and block the procedure. He, of course, has no memory of it thanks to a little thing called Versed®. Note to self: if ever shooting him with a tranq. dart, he's not going down easily. See, we still have a sense of humor around here. And he's quite funny when he comes to in the recovery room, always asking for the car keys and today I even got to hear, "He doesn't even have his license Lisa. Gimme da keys!" in perfect Weird Science pitch. You never know what he is going to come up with.

Now M's won a trip to the preoperative anesthesia center, to be cleared for general anesthesia and all future surgeries will be under general. This appointment should take place in the next 2-3 weeks, and surgery within the next 4 weeks. They are eager to get the first surgery down, as the longer the pre-cancerous cells remain untreated, the longer the greater threat remains and grows. We are thankful for such skilled care being nearby, but it makes for an exhausting day full of travel, navigating the downtown area, navigating the hospital system, and just waiting...waiting for surgical prep, procedure, recovery, discharge. I've learned I'm not a very good "waiter." We were both spent by the time we got home, and so thankful my parents offered to watch C a little later. M and I came home and crashed- he woke up for dinner and is back to resting comfortably.

Thank you for all of the prayers and well wishes! More to come over the next 2-4 weeks.

More Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-04-20T17:41:00.001-04:00

Taking C to the doctor this afternoon...

C: "When is Uncle Rudy's birthday?"

Me: "In seven days...what would you like to give him as a gift?"

C: "A country club shirt and a razor."

Me: "A razor?"

C: "Yes, a razor! He needs to shave!"

Me: "Where does he need to shave?"

C: "I don't know, but he needs to shave. He's got hair everywhere."

And there you go- who would have thought of a Gillette as a birthday gift?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-04-20T08:29:00.000-04:00

C walked in on us talking about M's surgery tomorrow...

"Daddy's having surgery?"

"Yes, remember? They have to fix his throat."

Silence...thinking...

"Are they gonna cut his head off to get to it? Will they stich it back on when they're done?"

Bad Blogger

2010-04-18T20:35:00.001-04:00

Yep, that's me, a bad blogger! It's been a bit overwhelming lately keeping up with C and work, let alone, the basics such as the house, laundry, etc. , which still need to get done. The good news is I have a happy, healthy child and work is going well and balanced. The bad news? My house needs a serious cleaning and decluttering! If baby steps count, then let's count that I got the pantry cleaned out today and the grocery shopping done. It's the little victories I have to savor these days!

Spring is in full bloom here and absolutely beautiful! This has inspired me to hopefully turn my black thumb with houseplants into a green thumb. So far, we have 6 new houseplants and they are all still alive and well- yeah! Yes, it is the little things. We are also getting ready to tear off the old deck and replace it with a new one (the work is never done), and this has forced us to look at the backyard with a fresh set of eyes. The bad news? Our huge shed will need to be moved and a small tree taken down. The great news? We think we may have enough sun on one spot to FINALLY plant a garden! So, by summer our goal is a new deck, some grass growing in the backyard, and a veggie garden. To get things started, I planted about 150 seeds in starter packs this weekend...lots of work, but hopefully, full of rewards. My goal is to use some to start our garden and others will be Mother's Day gifts, grown with love. And I'm so excited that my Nana will be visiting for Mother's Day this year, so she can take some plants home for her garden as well.

Photos to come soon; in the meantime, happy spring!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-04-04T20:16:00.000-04:00

C and our neighbor were playing outside on this beautiful day, and C asked if they could come inside to play a game. I said no, that it was nice out and we were staying outside. The boys pushed the issue and I told them no again, that it was nice, we were staying outside, and C could not have friends in to play since he's not cleaned his bedroom or his playroom, to which his playmate replied...

"Doesn't C's maid clean his room?"

Me: "C doesn't have a maid; he has to clean his own room."

"Oh, well I don't have my OWN maid; she's my mom's maid, but she still cleans my room."

Me: "I don't have a maid."

Neighbor looked at me like I was out of my ever loving mind and says...

"Well, sometimes my mom cleans my room. I bet you could clean C's?"

Nice try.

1910 or 2010 and the Cult of Catholicism

2010-03-30T21:54:00.000-04:00

Thanks to modern technology, news travels in a nansecond, versus weeks or months. Today I was on the ever popular Facebook for a few minutes and an openly gay friend of mine posted an article about a woman who was denied access to her dying partner, because they were gay. Regardless of my, or anyone else's, opinion on the topic of homosexuality, shouldn't you have who you want by your side when you are on your deathbed? To me, sexual preference has nothing to do with basic common decency. I appreciate my friend sharing this article and enlightening a broader base of the discrimination that continues, even if the major media outlets are not shining a light on it.

From that article, I saw a link to another article that made my head spin. Two children kicked out of their school, a Catholic school, because they have "two moms." How is that for loving others through Christ? No offense is meant to my Catholic friends and family, but the Catholic church has always mystified me in how they consider themselves followers of Christ. I cannot find a Biblical basis for purgatory, praying to Mary, confession to a priest, all of the non-Biblical rules from Vatican II, burning folks at the stake, praying to saints, not encouraging reading the Bible but instead diluting and brainwashing a perversion of the good book via the homily, and the list goes on...back to the kids kicked out of their school. Hmmm...did they kick out the kids whose parents are divorced? What about the parents using birth control- did those kids get kicked out too? What about those who eat meat on Fridays during Lent? Aren't all of these also "sins" in the Catholic church? Now we are delineating some sins as more aggregious than others? I was always raised a sin, is a sin, is a sin and let he/she who is blameless cast the first stone. So, the Catholic church continues to sexually abuse children, but letting two kids stay in school because they have gay parents is out of the question? Really?! This was shockingly eyeopening to me that this prejudice exists today- are we in the early 1900s? Such a sad state of affairs.

And the current Pope? He's rumored to have ties to a Nazi background and while he condemns capitol punishment for rapists and mass murderers, he continues to refuse to condemn the Uganda death penalty for being gay bill. Lest we forget the words of Pastor Martin Niemoller:

"THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

THEN THEY CAME for the Jews,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

THEN THEY CAME for the Catholics,and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant.

THEN THEY CAME for meand by that time no one was left to speak up."

Our Life in Pictures

2010-03-23T06:47:00.000-04:00

The Thief in the Night

2010-03-18T22:51:00.000-04:00

Usually, I sense that things are going in the right direction, as they "should" be, but 2010 has been a dark start that continues on. Never have we been so surrounded by death and honestly, I just cannot process it all. January brought us the death of our 14 year old nephew and February was the death of a family friend that was like a sister to Mark. March brought the death of a high school classmate (died while breastfeeding her newborn), another classmate that went missing during the earthquake in Chile, then the death of another classmate (cancer), the death of C's "Grammy's" dog, and now our neighbor is very ill in critical care, with a sweet wife and two little kids at home. In all my life, I've not experienced a three month period with such loss and sadness- what gives?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-03-13T15:24:00.000-05:00

Told to me by an adorable 4 year old at C's party today:

"C is my boyfriend...he just doesn't know that yet."

And so it begins!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-03-11T00:52:00.000-05:00

Last week was Dr. Seuss week at school and I had the pleasure of reading to C's class. With all of their celebrations and fanfare, Dr. Seuss has been on our minds. Tonight at dinner, C was looking at a cup we purchased a few years ago that has Dr. Seuss characters on it. C kept turning the cup and naming characters, but this one had me laughing...bet you've never met this character before!

C: "Hey Mama, look! It's Urinal the Turtle on my cup!"

Me: "You mean Yertle the Turtle?"

Celebrating 5 Years with Our Miracle!

2010-03-05T23:15:00.000-05:00

The Culture of Death

2010-03-05T22:09:00.001-05:00

I've never dealt with death head-on...I'm really an avoider what it comes to tragedy. My paternal grandfather died when I was 8, and while it hit me hard and was very sad in my little life, my family never involved the children in the cultural expectations of a death. My brother and I did not go to the viewing, the funeral, or the wake for my grandfather. My mother strongly believed (and still does) that a child should remember a loved one based on the memories and experiences they have built, not me being left with the final image of my grandfather in a coffin.

My maternal grandfather died of cancer during the first week of my senior year of college; he was in his early 60s. And again, while this was another tragedy to our family, I was relieved my grandfather was no longer suffering. He also was not big on how our culture reveres death and donated his body to scientific research; he figured why would he need his earthly body when he had already passed on to be with his divine creator- God. It ended up that research could not accept his body due to the levels of toxic chemo drugs remaining in his system, so he was cremated. He did not want to be buried, nor to extend the obligation of visiting/upkeep of a grave... "Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not here, I do not sleep..." His memorial service was so beautiful- full of photos of him from his childhood up until cancer robbed him of his vitality- healthy, shining, and bright. It was a beautiful way to say goodbye, and after the service, his brother took him for one last ride on his Harley. Yep, you read that correctly. The box containing my grandfather's ashes was strapped to the back of his favorite Harley and he was taken for one last drive.

Almost exactly two years later, my parents placed the call I think every parent must dread. I was in my apartment, in my second week of my second/final year of graduate school, and I received a call from my parents that my best friend had committed suicide. To this day, a part of me remains empty from that loss. But again, why focus on the death instead of the beautiful life? Like my grandfather, my friend's family hosted a beautiful memorial service, my friend was cremated, a tree planted in his honor, and a wake followed at the family home, to draw together and remember how this one life touched so many others along the way.

My father-in-law passed in '99, my brother-in-law a couple of years later, and two of my uncles and a dear family friend after that. I fully respect that how I was raised to work through loss/death is different from what "the standard" is, but I make no apologies for that. I traveled with M when his father passed, we could not afford for me to travel when M's brother passed. When one of my uncles passed, I was not able to travel to the funeral, and thankfully, my family was very understanding of such. Another uncle passed and I was able to travel and participate in the funeral and wake. When a dear family friend passed in 2005, C was only a few weeks old, which also meant I was also only a few weeks past a C-section and not very mobile. The funeral required a drive of 3.5 hours each way- 7 hours round trip with a newborn. It just was not feasible. And it wasn't just about C's age or my surgery...this would have been the first time many would meet C, and I didn't want him taking the attention from an event that was intended to focus on our loved one. I chose to stay home with C and my family and friends fully respected that decision, no repercussions or hard feelings. We lost M's 14 year old nephew in January- M attended the viewing and I joined the family the next day for the private burial. I hope it was not offensive to the family that I did not attend the viewing; that was not my intention.

Why outline all of this? Tragedy has struck again, followed by judgment with how Mark and I have chosen to deal with it. I think the Irish have it right- throw a party, celebrate a life well lived and, hopefully, the deceased entering into heaven. I've verbally shared with my family, if and when I go, put up some photos of the good time, have my pastor host a memorial service at our Baptist church, and throw a HUGE party afterwards, focusing on the positive and the good, not mourning, not focused on death. No viewing, no burial, etc. Focus on the good times, cremate me, and do what you will with my ashes. Scattering them at the tide line sounds good to me.

Last week, we surprised C with a trip to Disney World- all out! This time we stayed on property for 8 days with Park Hoppers and a dining plan. It was magical and we made FANTASTIC memories with our little guy that I will hold in my heart forever. We arrived at our resort on Saturday the 20th, and late on Sunday the 21st, we received word that a family friend passed away unexpectedly. At that time, the family had not established final arrangements and all we knew is that the family was traveling to upstate NY on Tuesday to make arrangements. I should clarify, these friends are family to my husband, so in their eyes, this is essentially his "sister" passing unexpectedly.

We did not cancel our vacation. Even if we had decided to travel, we could not have done so. Not only would it have been terribly cost prohibitive, but over 2 feet of snow was falling in the Northeast and planes were not easily moving. We didn't even learn of plans until Thursday morning, the same morning as the visitation, followed by services on Friday. And while our conversation did not go there, M knows where my focus was. Our son is very much alive and we were celebrating his life, not going into a situation that could not be changed. Traveling to NY would not bring her back, would not change the tragedy that had already occurred. Because the ground is frozen until spring thaw, she cannot even be buried until sometime in April or May and we are planning to join the family for the burial, even though financially it will be challenging. Now, M has spoken with both of his "brothers" and while I shouldn't be surprised by their response, I am. Both have expressed that he should have been there- the whole family was there except for him. One was much more understanding than the other, but I know M is hurting that it now appears to be a grudge against him that we didn't cancel our vacation and travel to upstate NY, despite not even knowing the arrangements that were made. I stand by our decision, which was really a decision forced by lack of information about arrangements/inaction. But not to hide behind a lack of information, even with advance knowledge of the arrangements, I would not have canceled my time dedicated to celebrate my son. And how ironic the same "brothers" that claim to be family never recognize anything important within our own family unit, such as M's birthday, major accomplishments, etc.

What do you think? What would you have done faced with the same situation?